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You’re Nuts!

When you innovate, you’ve got to be prepared for everyone telling you you’re nuts.

~Larry Ellison

youre nuts

It is time once again!

You’re Nuts!- a Fly on the Wall Friday post! Today, fifteen bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Don’t mind the mess… we live here.

This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.

Welcome.

k grad

K graduated from middle school.

It was all about the vintage for this occasion.

A dozen stores later we found THE shoes that matched THE dress.

She was over the moon.

personal space

In the middle of K’s graduation the man sitting behind Luc started trying to tickle him repeatedly.

“Give that man a dirty look!” Luc leans in to whisper at me.

I looked behind him and the man smiles at me.

“I said DIRTY look! That man keeps violating my armpit! Seriously! No touchie!” He frantically says as I watch the man lean forward, over the back of Luc’s chair and try to stick his fingers into Luc’s armpit again.

“He is adorable, I know, but there are laws against pervy people that touch minors so decide now if you can keep your hands to yourself or if I shall have you arrested in the middle of this ceremony,” I hissed at the man as I changed places with my son.

He left. No one around us knew him.

People are so messed up!?

Now to make up for putting a visual of that perv in your head, I give you one of the most awesome videos I’ve seen this month.

First Moon Party!

may-phone 037

“This and that together? Never again, Mom. Separately the apparel is fine but together… just hurry up and get in the car,” K says pointing to my shirt and shorts as I quickly signed her out at the end of the day.

K was accepted to an awesome Arts & Technology Camp at a local college.

This “advice” being said from a gal wearing a tie dye t-shirt with a cat on it, John Lennon style sunglasses, Doc Martens boots, 14 bracelets on one wrist, red lips and a fedora over her ringlet curls.

Excuse me, she who looks like someone who warped here on her double rainbow from the seventies.

Sheesh!

june phone 101

The door handle gave up.
I almost cracked myself in the face with it when the handle let loose and promptly then got it tangled in my hair. Pretty talented to do it all while screeching, flailing and falling over in one awkward motion.
Good heavens!
Well played, Monday.

Let me tell you how excited I am about fixing this.

june phone 003

Min went ice skating with a group of her friends, like they do each week.
She returned home missing half her front tooth.
She was, of course, messing around and was skating backwards when she freakishly tripped and slammed her face into the ice.
Toe pick!
One root canal done by a specialist and a temporary cap for now, until her majesty’s crown comes in.
Her royal tooth has been a pain in the backside but the worst of it is behind her and I can’t help but be slightly impressed with the way she handled the entire situation.
When it all hits the fan, this girl just gets funnier.
Humor is a far healthier way to handle the bumps in life but sometimes she’s just too much.
cant handle the tooth
Luc lost a tooth so I set my alarm super early to swap that tooth for cash.
Using my ninja skills I got the tooth and then sliced my foot open in the Lego city I trampled like Godzilla.
So now I’m standing in his room bleeding all over the floor trying to make the bloody exchange, when he wakes up and asks why I’m there.
“Um, cat… The cat… The cat had a problem so I’m fixing it. No worries.”
He went back to sleep and I spent the next 10 minutes mopping his room in the dark so it didn’t look like the tooth fairy was murdered.
Only to kick the doorway on the way out and proceeded to bleed and mop down the hallway.
Good news… 50% of our floors got mopped before 5 am and by the power of my Strawberry Shortcake Band-aids the foot has stopped leaking red stuff.
may-phone 148
The barbeque tried to kill me.
It is totally out to get me. I think it’s been talking to that murderous opossum in the hedge.
It ate my expensive brisket, murdered my chicken and spit fireballs of crazy at me… the grill, not the opossum but that would have been way better ending to this story.
When it wouldn’t listen to reason and started acting like it wanted to fireball our adjacent trees, it got the hose.
The grill and I have not made up… yet.
1 andrew poncho
“Goodbye! I’m leaving for Andrew’s Poncho!” K calls out before walking out the door.
“Did our kid just say she was heading out to some man’s poncho?” The Handsome Prince asks me.
“Yep, ” I replied as I continued to type away on the laptop.
“Am I the only one that finds this even a little bit odd, even for K?” He questioned me.
“Andrew’s Poncho” is the meeting place half way between our house and where K’s friend lives. The girls have this inside joke about a musician that has this tie dye poncho that he wears and his name is Andrew- thus somehow this meeting place became known simply as Andrew’s Poncho.
They asked me to help them to make and tie dye their own ponchos for fun.
K is her own burst of color, poncho or no poncho.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
I have taken a group of paranormal investigators into the local mountains twice in the last few weeks.
First time with a large group and the second with a couple of brave people who wanted to hike it again.
Spahn Ranch is a beautiful, fascinating and fairly rugged open space that I hike regularly.
There are several chilling stories in the history of these mountains but they are a wonderful places to spend the day enjoying the outdoors. It was interesting and fun to spend the time with such a neat diverse group. I love it when I find another writer that has such a passion for the details of research and finds the fascinating truths of history worth preserving. I could gab with her all day and find myself looking forward to our next hike together.
Who knew my nerdy history and hiking hobby would come in handy for someone else?!
Awesome!
june phone 139
Kenzie accompanied me to the market.
Each week I’ve been trying to stock up one pantry item to add to our emergency stockpile or to rotate the pantry. Nothing exciting about earthquake preparedness nor the pantry.
I was asking her what she thought would be a good addition to the our emergency cabinet as we passed the beef jerky.
She stopped and grabbed a giant Slim Jim off the shelf, pointing out that they were 2 for $1.
I made the international face of displeasure with a hint of that’s just nasty tossed in there at the end.
june phone 138
“Point is that no one would snap into a Slim Jim unless the earth opened up and tried to eat us or there was a zombie apocalypse. Either way were going to be toast if we draw attention to ourselves and cook something,” Kenzie explains and then reads me the label. “Smoked Snack Stick. Smoked Snack Stick isn’t promising meat related flavors but when something is trying to eat your brains and a meat- like product held together with a nasty wrapper thingie like sausage… Eww, sausage… is all you have and you got it on sale, I’d say it’ll be a winner.”
We purchased four smoked snack sticks… K (the vegetarian) and I will have to die if it comes between life and the smoked snack stick consumption because I don’t think I could do it.
I did, however, say smoked snack stick so many times on the way through the store that by the time we were ready to pay, we had to go through self check out because we were giggling too much to drag a poor checker into our madness.
Smoked Snack Stick.
Seriously, the more times you say it the funnier it gets!
i understand I just dont care
“What is this you are wearing?” K asks me again as I arrived to pick her up.
I’m starting to develop a complex.
june phone 089
I went to run errands and nearly keeled over when I caught a glimpse of “someone” buckled in behind me.
There was lots of screaming like I was about to be attacked by an urban legend.
I learned that when you are seat belted into your truck, you can not flee from the seat without unbuckling… no matter how many times you try.
Apparently we take skateboard safety seriously around here.
Well, that shaved a few years off the old ticker!
“Babe, come on. You’re nuts! Who the hell is going to slide on into the back of your truck to kill you with an axe… but first take a moment to obey the seat belt laws?!” The Handsome Prince questioned.
“One does not question the motives of crazy, I just make it my life’s mission to avoid axe wielding backseat killers. So far I’ve got a good track record,” I replied.
“If the skateboard were an actual killer?”
Alright… I’d totally be the stuff of poorly written under funded suburban slasher movies.
Insert heightened anxiety here.
june phone 087
Awesome movie find of this month…
Three For The Show
An old favorite that I was thrilled to snag!
hiss
In the couple of days that passed between Min’s tooth verses ice issue and getting a temporary, Min had the last two days of finals and whistled when she talked.
Subsequently when she realized this fantastic party trick, she rolled it into part of the daily comedy sketch that is Min. The girl was leaping out at me from behind racks, around isles, in doorways and would made a ridiculous face while hissing through her missing tooth like a snake. She was sneaking up on people at school and hissing at them. She stood in the backyard making various poses and shooting water through her gap like our own personal fountain. She would pretend to eat like a squirrel and then smile with the perfect expression that everyone laughing so hard our sides hurt.
She saw the bigger picture~ this is just a moment, one experience that will be fixed but for now, enjoy it for what it is today.
Hive Five, Kiddo!
fish cE
Craptastic Hearing Strikes Again
“Big Fish Cars?” I questioned K because her normal tone of voice I don’t hear well so I find that it is easier for me to understand her most of the time when I read her lips too.
“Yeah, all the other parents drive big fish cars too. Really? I said Big-ISH. Big-ISH cars.”
Apparently I forgot my English to K translator that day.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Kenzie graduated from sixth grade and is heading into middle school!
may-phone 105
Alastor loves to style Luc’s hair.
may-phone 162
Weight loss warning:
You guys know I’ve set a lot of great goals for my health… my journey took a turn for the weird!
I’ve been taking my Plexus Products faithfully.
I’ve lost 20 pounds now (insert glitter cannons here) and made some incredible changes in my life.
Do not throw on your old favorite shorts to go for a run… Okay, a brisk trot.
Trusting in that apparel relationship while making awesome life changes, shall result in your old shorts being way too big, falling down to your ankles and mooning the people moving in their new home plus team of workers.
Welcome to the neighborhood!!
 Frankly, I had not really been paying much attention to the physical changes taking place until I found myself wearing ankle shorts.
This may be a new record… mooning the neighbors on the very day they move in. A personal awkward best for me!
I found myself asking what baked goods in a basket say, “I know you’ve seen my butt but we’re going to move past this and be best friends”?

Answer:
Strawberry cream muffins, blueberry crumble muffins, peanut butter and strawberry jelly cookies, my nearly famous brownie shots stuffed with marshmallow fluff, two loaves of homemade bread- White & Potato, & a jar of my raspberry jam.Great news is that the family has an awesome sense of humor and I’ve been invited to moon them again if it means I’m bringing more baked goods.
It was the PB&J cookies that sealed the deal.Apparently the Mad Mooner story has been retold to anyone that had a minute in the last few weeks.
…I told you my butt was legendary, literally.
Seriously… aren’t you glad you don’t live on my street?

bird

I look in the rear view mirror to see K dramatically wiping away tears in the backseat.
“I’m weeping because I love pigeons.”
Folks… I almost peed my pants right there in the parking lot.
nuts 1
Now get out of here quickly and visit this month’s incredible Fly on the Wall Writers before you’re nuts too!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                               The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://dinoheromommy.com/                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                      Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                     Someone Else’s Genius

www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com                         Black Sheep Mom

http://www.gomamao.com                                Go Mama O

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                            Battered Hope

http://themomisodes.com                                      The Momisodes

http://elleroywashere.com                                      elleroy was here

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7 comments

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  1. Lorinda McKinnon - the Rowdy Baker

    I’m so glad my blog comes before yours, because NO one could follow that.
    I love Min! I love all your youngsters, but she just slays me. What confidence!
    And I agree…starvation would have to be imminent before I’d tear into a Slim Jim.
    <3 your post as always.
    Lorinda McKinnon – the Rowdy Baker recently posted…Fly on the Wall – JuneMy Profile

  2. Karen @BakingInATornado

    You always pack so much into these posts. Congratulations to you (weight loss) and K (graduation).
    My son cracked his front tooth at the bottom of a pool. I was SO upset I was shaking.
    And Luc’s perv? YIKES!
    Karen @BakingInATornado recently posted…Fly on the Wall, June 2014My Profile

  3. Carol Graham

    NUTS! My goodness – how do you keep it all straight? Sounds like a lot of fun mixed in with the craziness. Congrats to K and what a relief when you find THE shoes for THE dress!

    Carol @ Battered Hope
    Carol Graham recently posted…Oh! To Be A Fly On The WallMy Profile

  4. Cathy

    Wow – the incident at the graduation was scary! Horrible!!

    Love that your daughter made the best of her chipped tooth! What a great attitude to have!

    This is such a lovely intro to wrap up your eventful month – “This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.”

    Happy Friday!
    Cathy recently posted…Fly on the Wall – Do you Have Dinosaur Bones?My Profile

  5. Stacy Sews and Schools

    YAY for the grad!!! :D
    I think I would have broken that man’s fingers!! OMG!!!!!
    Congrats for the weight loss!!! WOO HOO!!!
    Stacy Sews and Schools recently posted…Fly on the Wall – June 2014My Profile

  6. Robin

    *still laughing* Excuse while I use the bathroom…

  7. Kristi @Black Sheep Mom

    A tooth fairy murder scene! I’m dying!! :)

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