“For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?”
Nothing says “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” quite like the faces of the neighbors as they watched motorcycle after motorcycle carefully get placed into our garage.
They LOVED it when The Handsome Prince brought home the stacked trailer that houses our motorcycle dyno.
We became the “motorcycle house” and it’s OK by us.
After several years we started to label our neighbors as well.
Lawn Shower Dude- showers on lawn once a weekend in his drawers
Boat Lawn House- Sportboat adorning the lawn
The Pink Pickles- Pink house smells of pickles…ALWAYS
Don’t Look At Me It Burns- the anti social peeps that would rather dive behind a hedge than make eye contact. Waves are especially repulsive to them and might cause a rash.
The Bird People- they have bird nests in their spanish tile roof so they have about 75 birds around their house at all times
Blah Blah Bike Guy- comes over to hear himself say stupid things about motorcycles when the Prince has projects visably out
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
When I moved into our current home, the house behind ours had just been sold.
The first neighborly thing they did was to kill our vines, toss chemicals over the fence as well as their yard clippings too.
Naturally, I was irked but OK, they had some major projects under way so I figured it was their workers. Not so much. I was finding it really difficult to not stroll around the block and have some words. My Handsome Prince pointed out that no one walks away from equity so best not to start a war with people we’d be sharing a wall with for years to come.
I hate that he usually is.
They were people that just like us, take pride in their home and wanted to make it the best that they can. So a few plants were harmed in the getting to know you process, no big foul. Soon we’d see more than we had ever planned to!
I am by no means Martha Stewart.
I’d love my table to look so beautiful or my food to be a feast for the eyes as well but I believe I lack the attention to decor details. More consumed with cooking, kids and making sure the guest bathroom is presentable before a gathering, than the pretty finer details. I LOVE to have friends and their families over to share a meal! We have a lovely but average sized smaller home so our gatherings look more a kin to visiting your grandparents with ALL the other relatives at Thanksgiving… our big table seems to have given birth to many smaller tables and chairs so everyone has a space. Not terribly conducive to Ms. Martha’s perfection but fun and tasty anyways!
One evening in the summer, we had planned to have some friends over for dinner. I knocked myself out to prepare a beautiful table in the backyard. Made a georgous arrangement from the bountful flowers in our yard and ironed the table cloth. Oh yes, it was going to be a flawless evening, timed perfectly and looking amazing, if I do say so myself. I was ready… channeling Martha, our guests arrived.
Appetizers and drinks were served as we chatted for a little bit. I fired up the grill and was heading back inside to plate our salads, when I was soaked head to toe in a spray of wine.
What in the holy?
I look at my girlfriend who had just launched her mouthful my way, she looked shocked and was pointing. We all followed her stare, right to the backside of the house behind us. The home has never had any window coverings, drapes, blinds or shutters. There in the window was our naked neighbor running on her treadmill. Naked! Running! OUCH was all I could think. We laughed and laughed but it was making our guests uncomfortable. We moved the evening back to our kitchen table and drew our blinds for her privacy. My beautiful table shot, my anticipated attention to detail evening was derailed. I oddly wasn’t put out but quietly envied the fact that my neighbor was so comfortable with herself that she didn’t care. Weird thing to do, yes but alright maybe she didn’t realize we call can see her.
We learned in the weeks to come that our neighbors are sans clothing whenever they are home and didn’t care to put up a shade, blanket or towel over any of their back windows. They were becoming an anatomy lesson for our kids so we sat them all down to chat. The artist in me forced me to treat this not as a negitive but a lesson in expression and humanity. We may not choose to expose ourselves in such a way but our bodies are a beautiful amazing thing. Just because I am not comfortable participating in that lifestyle doesn’t make it wrong. We disagree with the way they choose to not to cover their windows BUT they are in their own home.
At no time did they gesture suggestively or do anything but be naked to call any attention to themselves. We were not in a position to offer monetary assistance to correct this issue so we decided to educated the kids as to how people’s choices effect one another. This was not a daily issue but we had a handful of “sightings” each month.
We all learned to look away and change our location. Unfortunately, we did abandon our cute little yard for an further entertaining. Different strokes for different folks. In December, I saw that they had put the house on the market. I headed to Ross and found “his” and “hers” robes on the cheap. I typed up a cute note to wish them well as they packed for future greatness. Inside that note like a candy gram I highlighted certain words so it was a note inside a note. The blue letters spelled out “Wear them well we can see it all”. In the dark of the night, I ding dong ditched the robes at the door.
Maybe a bit passive aggressive but it was done in fun with care.
Next morning as I’m letting the dog out back, there she was in the window, wearing her robe. She points to me, grabs the collar of the robe as a gesture of see I’m wearing it and mouthed I’m so sorry. I did the international wave of “it’s no big thing”. We smiled and that was it. They moved shortly after.
Many months “The Naked House” stood vacant.
Won’t you be my neighbor?
One day we noticed workers at the property.
For sale came down and contractors sign went up.
The home got a face lift… & CURTAINS!!!!!
A cute young family moved in.
We knew when the “Nakeds” were there that some of our ceiling fan/light combos are on the same frequency as the house behind us.
OK, so several times I’ve turned the light out on treadmil lady for 5 minutes in the yard without her rack. You would have too.
W-e-l-l because working from home can be distracting, challenging and often time more pressure filled than reporting to a desk in an office, I HAVE to find way to amuse myself.
As writers block was sticking it’s tongue out at me, I started drifting out the window.
Their curtains were all open and I could see her buzzing about her house as we all do.
I reached over to turn on my ceiling fan.
I clicked but it didn’t come on. I noticed hers did. I chuckled… and kicked it up to full speed, now laughing louder like the biggest geek in the world.
Hey- I was feeling a bit like the boy in the bubble at the moment so I thought I’d amuse myself.
As I went about my day I would click another room light or fan on or off.
After a while, she noticed something was funny here. Going room to room to room turning off lights and fans. hehehehehehehe!!!!
I drove her NUTTY ALL morning.
I baked her a plate of cupcakes shaped like ghosts… to make up for her haunted house and took them over later.
She was the nicest lady and it was clear from just a few minutes that we are going to live happily sharing a fence.
She looked at the ghost cakes a little funny but invited me into the living room.
I brought the fan button with me so naturally I made the lights flicker and fan kick up to high.
She launched into how they must have gremlins in their house!!
I was almost peeing my pants with laughter and pulled out the remote.
Thank heavens she has a wicked sense of humor as well because she got it right away and was laughing with me until tears ran down our cheeks.
I apologised for playing around with her but she assured me she would have kept doing it and never outed herself.
Maybe we’ll fix it or maybe we’ll develop a code and send haunted messages like kids on walkie talkies.
Pssst, haunt ya in the living room tonight.
My neighbors must have varied opinions of us but they seem to know what door to knock on when they need a tool.
I do think I started something.
We’re bracing for a retaliatory prank!
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Quick… Pull the blinds!
I can see you,