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The Snack That Maimed Easter

Just as a puppy can be more of a challenge than a gift, so too can the holidays.

-John Clayton

secret subject swap smokey

Welcome to Take One of April’s Secret Subject Swaps! This week, Baking In A Tornado handed 12 brave bloggers a secret subject from someone else and assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts!

Today my “Secret Subject” is:

 Renewal in the Spring

It was submitted by: http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/

She’s my favorite Insomniac! You will love my sleepless friend!

takis 1

‘Twas the night before Easter and all through this place,

Kids were up at wee hours stuffing their face.

Snacking, playing games and hanging around,

Whilst mom and dad said goodnight; sleep safe and sound.

The jitters and excitement of the very next day,

Certainly had a hand in this craptastic display.

We had scrimped, we had saved, we had plotted it out.

We got them all theme park passes, oh the hoots and the shout.

First time going to ride roller coasters as a big heard.

The day would end up smelling of turd.

The snack that maimed Easter gets a bad rap,

When in fact it’s bad choices that turned the day to crap.

Kenzie… oh Kenzie has a woeful bad tummy.

Digestive issues handed down from her dear mummy.

So the kid has a love for Fuego Corn Chips,

A bite here, a bite there, soon red covered lips.

“Kenzie,” says I in utter confusion.” How can you take it? I need a reason!”

The truth is in fact that they do make her sick but they’re just too pleasin’.

Enough! I ban you from these, the chips that make you so ill.

Hope you enjoyed it and got your fill.

Maybe it was because she is a ‘tween,

Apparently she thought we were just being mean.

For the night before the spring event, the will power caved and the snack started it’s attack.

For she busted out and ate a whole hidden sack!

takis 2

Imagine our shock when the troops assembled ready to depart,

There Kenzie is on the bathroom floor poised for vomiting to start.

“I ate the darn Takis,” she admits with head in the bowl.

Her siblings enraged at the the family fun day she stole.

An hour of nonsense, we packed her plus bucket into the car.

The ride was really quick because we don’t live too far.

Just inside the park, the scent of funnel cake smelling air,

She pulled a freak out that made everyone stare.

Like a good mother I bribed her to get on a ride.

The heavens opened up and it sort of became part water slide.

Soaking, sobbing and ready to die. She stole her dad’s wheelchair, demanding a ride.

I’m dying, I hurt, this sucks, I’m all wet

Oh the whining didn’t cease, the fun family divided, we were all set.

No need to drag everyone down because gluttony had won.

Oh joy, oh rapture, her gagging over a planter, oh what fun!

We won a few games, ate some overpriced fries in the rain,

I couldn’t help but think this family fun day was really quite lame.

Then I looked up, a HUGE ad caught my eyes.

Seems one of the parks biggest sponsors is Takis, in an ironic surprise.

The ad showed some flippy haired kid super happy.

Not a gluttonous kid, slightly greenish and yacky.

Damn you Takis and the fuego you bring.

You’re killing me and causing a rancid break in the Spring.

“My darling,” I say to the days offender.”You know you own these bad choices you’ve made.

Not only you, but the rest of us paid.”

We talked about alcohol and how a hangover is wickedly bad.

Do you think you’d have sympathy for a drinkers pain or would you be mad?

For all plans get shot when when do ourselves in,

Who really wants to treat their bodies like a big garbage bin?!

Good heavens dear kiddo, we do understand.

But you made this as much fun as running in sand.

At least were together in this damp awful day,

Misery loves company or so they say.

The lesson was clear to all in the truck

Think about your actions first and pick the one that doesn’t suck!

The snack that maimed Easter shall be retold,

Each time I witness hands reaching for flavor Fuego Bold!

As the Handsome Prince and I finally fell into bed,

There was but one thought that needed be said.

“Honey,” says I still scarred and slightly twitching,

“NO renewal in the Spring! Just the thought of what another year of passes could bring…”

These are the moments and memories made,

Like being on Survivor and not getting paid.

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

 You don’t want to miss what the other Secret Subject Swap Blogger are writing about!

The other fabulous Secret Swappers in no particular order:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                 <—- The fantastic super hero that makes this possible!

http://chewylicious.wordpress.com/

http://smn0409.blogspot.com/

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://followmehome.shellybean.com

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

http://www.amotherlife.com

http://confessionsofafailingdomesticgoddess.blogspot.com

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                <——The amazing blogger that gave me my subject!

http://suburbiainterrupted.com/

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/

 

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15 comments

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  1. Sarah @ The Momisodes

    Awwww! Sorry she got sickly on you guys….and that the rain decided to ruin your day.

  2. Karen @BakingInATornado

    I don’t really know whether to laugh or cry for you. But I’m in awe that you were able to write this entire post in prose. Amazing.
    Oh, and this shall be framed and put on my kids’ walls:
    “Think about your actions first and pick the one that doesn’t suck!”
    XO

  3. stacysewsandschools

    WOW!!!! That was AMAZING!!!! I stand in awe of your writing!!!!

    HUGS for the ruined day!

  4. Michele@followmehome

    Boo to the sickness; sorry about your day and the evil snack. :( Yay to the new saying you gave me : “Think about your actions first and pick the one that doesn’t suck!” Great job, Meg. I hope you’re all feeling better..

  5. The Insomniac's Dream

    I. Am. Blown. Away.

    This was amazeballs and full of so much win. You took my prompt and made it your bitch. Wonderful writing, funny story, I love you so hard right now.

  6. The Sadder But Wiser Girl

    You make Dr Seuss look bad, because you are so cool. I bow down to you-I’m not worthy!!!

  7. Home on Deranged

    Is it mean that I wanted to laugh? When I was a teen, we took a trip to Six Flags, and I wore a white shirt and pink linen shorts. My mom warned me. Leaving a water ride, I slipped down the water covered stairs, and was covered in dirt/mud. And was now see-through. Luckily my mom bought me a t-shirt and Jams shorts (remember those?) and I changed in the tunnel part of one of the other water rides. Yep, for reals. Trust me, she will remember this lesson.

  8. Courtney

    I don’t know how you do it! Awesome! Makes me feel as if time is going by too fast!

  9. Kristi Campbell

    I love this! Here from Raising Reagan hop and SO GLAD because this made my day! I’m pretty sure she’ll remember it and you got a super cool blog post out of your rainy sick day – so there’s that ;)

  10. Lanthie Ransom

    I’m a fellow attributing blogger from Life Well Blogged and have shared an award with you. Please visit my site at http://www.lifecherries.com/2013/04/sharing-love-more-awards.html

  11. Lanaya @ Raising Reagan

    OMG … genius as usual! I recently had those for the first time as well. Rainy days result in genius!!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    http://www.raising-reagan.com

  12. Leslie

    Wow. This was a fantastic read. You are quite talented. I am sorry she was sick. Boo.

    Thanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.
    Leslie

  13. Evil Joy

    I love the prose!!! I hate she was sick – but you made it through right? And made me laugh…..hope you’re to the laughing part and this is something to held over her head for years and YEARS to come!!!

  14. The Shitastrophy

    Loved the line about a craptastic day, ahh a lady after my own heart. Sorry your trip bit though, sounds like your daughter might remember this one for sometime. Found u on humpday:)

  15. Molley@A Mother Life

    Thanks for hooking up tot he Hump Day Hook Up

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