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The Madness of May

 fly fool 6

It is time once again!

  The Madness of May, a Fly on the Wall post! Today, seventeen bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you would see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

Don’t mind the mess… we live here.

This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.

Welcome.

 

This video has been around a while but good heavens, it just about sums up the constant crazy that is the end of the school year shuffle around here for me.

The Madness of May has been nuts!

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We kicked off this month with a half eaten mystery burrito lurking on the bathroom counter.

Everyone denied snarfing half a burrito in the loo.

It must be our resident ghost, “not me”, again.

The mystery of the wayward bathroom burrito remains unsolved…

but I have a pretty good idea who it was *Cough, Cough* (whispers…”Min”).

fly 011

Working at McDonald’s has not hampered Min’s love affair with the french fry in the slightest.

She even went to Ren Fair (AKA- Renaissance Pleasure Faire) and came home with potatoes on her socks.

She turned 17 this month and loves to remind us that she will be old enough to vote in the next election.

Time needs to slow down.

K trip 2

It’s on!

K is going to be applying for her first passport!

She’s going to Germany and the Czech Republic to sing next summer!

It is truly the trip of a lifetime for this kiddo. She excels at studying the language already and this trip includes a stop in the city she wants to do a study abroad program in someday. Plus, the whole thing is geared towards music, music history and she will be performing in some absolutely amazing venues. Every part of this priceless adventure is exactly what she would want to experience.

I can hardly believe we’ve got a kid too dang close to 18 and another that we are happily sending to trip through another continent!?

Hold me.

I’m not ready… but it looks as though I better start running with the program or I’m going to get dragged because these kids keep growing up and their unique paths are taking them fabulous places.

Meg 304

Draco didn’t want to share his bag so he pops his head through the handle and takes it to another location.

When he’s done there, he puts his head through the handle and moves it again.

It is a stupid and endearing habit of his.

Meg 320Then there is this furry friend (Lily) who fishes plastic wrappers out of the trash.

She likes to bring them on our bed just so she can sit in them for a nap.

Our cats come pre-packaged, using nothing but recycled materials!

Only the best cat toys are available at Casa de Nutty.

bread 5

“Who fixed the lights?” I asked when I flicked the switch and the entire light fixture lit up instead of just one of the bulbs.

“Oh, Luc whacked it with a flying loaf of bread and like magic all the lights came on again,” Kenzie informed me.

Beat it with bread.

Why didn’t I think of that as a plausible solution?

“Why was the bread flying?” I ask.

“Um… I’ve got to go,” she said fleeing the room.

It was the electric sandwich miracle, I suppose.

fly fool 3

I’ve been putting together a “vision board”… you know, a collage with representations of our goals, dreams and things we would like to manifest in our life. Kind of a keep your eye on the prize reminder to stay the course and not be distracted from taking the steps to obtain those goals.

I tell clients to do this so I figured I better get ours updated.

I was on the laptop looking for a real estate listings that matched our ideal space for the board.

Then I noticed that the Prince is on his tablet watching video tutorials on how to build Tumbleweed tiny homes. We’re talking 180 square feet of teeny tiny living, my friends.

(I was looking at a chicken coop that was about the same size. lol)

I’m lusting after closet space for everything and organic gardens, while the Prince wants to move into a closet, park it next to the garden and get rid of 90% of our stuff.

I love a good stuff purge… I could totally get behind that part.

~Dream Compromise~

I pinned a picture of an empty field instead.

Seems if we can eventually acquire the space, we’ll figure out how to fill it up just fine.

Meg 174

All the cool moms are serving blue wookies…

Meg 173

and red storm troopers.

We fully embrace the nerdy around here.

Meg 230

Kenzie made it on her school’s soccer team.

Meg 222

She was horribly embarrassed when I busted out my celery and peanut butter on the sidelines. Yup, I’ve turned into that parent. You know, the one doling out organic snacks, snarfing the celery from my camping chair and passing out waters, while warning of the dangers of dehydration.

How the hell did that happen?!

Perhaps, I’ll make more food dye filled Star Wars Jello to balance it all out a little better.

fly fool 4

As we sat cheering Kenzie on, the little boy behind us stood up and started screaming at the device in his hands.

“Feel the power of my floating head! Feel it! I said feel it, sucker!! Float this!”

We tried really hard not to laugh but when Luc looked like he might bust, I smacked him with a celery stick.

Thus instigating a lively celery duel.

So few people can appreciate a good vegetable fencing moments now days.

Note to self: Use celery without peanut butter in it… but flying nutty chunks does add a little something extra to the display.

fly fool 5

The Handsome Prince and I have been best friends since our junior year of high school.

This fact also might be a contributing factor as to why we will never fully grow up.

We are totally going to be the old folks still racing shopping carts in the parking lots.

Everything is turned into some sort of competition, just for fun. Okay… mostly for fun but there is quite a lot to be said for bragging rights too. This is what two fiercely determined, silly, stubborn, insufferable know- it- all homebodies do for entertainment. We are always baiting each other into a rousing game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock to see who has to get up to take the dog out or screaming “not it” the second one of the kiddos asks us for a ride somewhere.

As we sat in bed watching a movie one night, two cats came up and laid in each of our laps.

The person without a lap of cat is usually the one that has to get up and take care of whatever crops up during a movie. Now we found ourselves both with a lap full of sleepy cat and the movie was over.

The great Puss Off 2015 began.

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The person who’s cat naturally stayed in the lap longest was the winner. The loser had to get up and turn on a new movie.

Kids came and went from the room in the hour to follow.

Eventually a kiddo asked what we were doing, at which time they were treated to the story of the wager we had made. They rolled their eyes and pressed play on the VCR on their way out of the room.

Now there was no point to the Puss Off!?

Or was there…

We sat with the cats in our laps another hour and a half, just to see who would win.

Let it be known to the Land of Nutty that Team Luna/Meg won the opening round!

Team Lily/Handsome Prince are the losers, for now.

If he had not had to get up and thus forfeited the Puss Off, I might have seriously peed my pants.

The situation was pretty dire but Luna and I held out for the win!

Kenzie claimed that she would remember this in therapy years from now, as I nearly knocked her over in my dash to the bathroom.

Bring it, sister.

fly 001

The Handsome Prince was almost crushed.

He’s a mechanic and was working under an SUV with another guy. The lift malfunctioned and sent the truck crashing to the ground on it’s side right where the guys were working in a matter of seconds. The Handsome Prince caught movement ever so slightly out of the corner of his eye and reacted immediately, shoving the other guy out of the way before narrowly getting out himself. If he had not pushed the other guy, this would be more than just an annoying insurance claim to fix a damaged car. The Handsome Prince had some wicked bruising and was sore but luckily nothing serious.

I can hardly even think about it.

Horrible, scary awful accident that I am so grateful wasn’t worse.

Our Handsome Prince is a super lucky guy.

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“I ate a feather! My blanket is trying to kill me!”

~Luc, clearly having a difficult relationship with a down comforter.

Bacon Balls.

“Hey! Come here and watch this video,” the Prince says to me.

“Why? Just send it to me,” I tell him, already busy on the computer.

“It’s about mozzarella stuffed meatballs wrapped in bacon. I thought, you know, that we could watch it together. I bet it is really interesting,” he continues.

Now he has my attention. My husband wants to watch something about cooking? Have we fallen into another universe? Did I trip on a wrinkle in time? There has to be more to this…

“Oh wow! Look at that cheese! Doesn’t it look delicious? I bet it just makes you want to try making them yourself,” he says and flashes me that adorable grin that gets me every single time.

Ah ha! I knew it wasn’t going to be long before that mystery was solved.

Who am I to stand in the way of a man and his need for bacon balls stuffed with cheese?

Fly fool 6

K and I went to The Pioneers of the Paranormal Conference together!

We had a Plexus booth there but we also got to meet some incredible people and several stars in various paranormal fields. The speakers were all excellent and we got to talk to most of them through out the day, which was really neat. We met another mother/daughter couple that we had a blast with. Then we got to do a paranormal investigation of the hotel with the professionals!

Meg 122

K and her new pal leaped at the chance to crawl into a closet that a decapitated prostitute was found and now said to haunt. Even the guy doing the EVP work in that room said he wouldn’t readily go sit in there but those brave girls went right ahead… at least for a few minutes before they caught a enough of a spook to want to rejoin the group.

Thanks to our sweet friends Mary and Syd at Paranormal Boot camp Events

We learned a lot, met so many interesting people and had a wonderful time!

I think the world of those two so it was a total treat to see them in action!

Meg 166

While we were at the conference I missed a phone call from the Prince.

I quickly called him back, thinking that something had to have hit the fan for him to be calling. After all, I left everyone behind with very specific instructions and booked this adventure months in advance so there was no kinks in the plan, besides disaster.

“Where is the leftover pizza?” He asks.

“You called me about pizza? Did you try the fridge?” I say exasperated.

“Yes. Of course I did,” the Prince replies.

“Should I order you more pizza?” I ask.

“I can order a new pizza, sheesh. I can manage to feed the kids without you. What I wanted was leftover pizza,” he says.

The pizza was in the front of the fridge, just under the lettuce.

I found it when I got home.

Why move anything around to look when it is so much easier to send out the pizza distress call?

Unfortunately, my distant pizza vision wasn’t working from that far away.

I think my family might be a little too used to our magic kitchen producing them healthy home cooked meals.

I fear they have become far too domesticated to be released into the wild.

Eh, job security.

 

fly fool 9

I tackled some of our never ending plumbing issues.
Using my masters in Google, Youtube tutorials and a DIY book, I drained, lifted, unclogged and re-installed the toilet in our master bathroom. Then started making plans to replace another toilet, replace the piping under a couple of sinks and snake out the shower lines. I hate to pay someone to do something that I am perfectly capable of doing, just would really rather not.
My cheap usually trumps my lazy, thank heavens.

fly fool 8
I went to sleep thinking about my to-do list and dreamed about sewer gas and exploding toilets.
I was startled awake the next morning by the sound of the actual toilet flushing and totally launched myself out of bed, tripped on the dog and sprawled across the carpet in a rather ungraceful swan dive.
Exploding toilet dreams.
I don’t think I can be a plumber when I grow up.

May 003“Hi! I found a tiny rip in your comforter. I thought you might miss it so I made it huge and crawled inside your blanket to wait for you. It’s pretty cozy in here. Wanna join me?”
– The LUNAtic

fly fool 5

“Did you know that having your nipples removed is like a thing now?” K asked on the way home from school.

Kenz replies, “Like Barbie boobs?! Who wants Barbie boobs? Men don’t use their nipples but even they come with a set of them.”

“I don’t know. It’s just a weird thing people do or think about doing, or something like that. Sort of to be different, I guess,” K says.

“I like my nipples just the way they are,” Kenzie mutters. “Wait! Who’s going to be seeing if you do or don’t have nipples?! It’s not like your nipple is on your forehead. I guess if you really want to be different you should just pierce something or dye something like everyone else. Barbie boobs… If Ken crotch becomes a thing too, I quit the human race.”

On that note, the water that I was trying to swallow made its way forcefully out my nose and sprayed the dashboard.

Ken crotch and Barbie boobs, folks.

Meg 177“Every party has a pooper that’s why we invited you…”

Okay. The Handsome Prince has requested numerous times that this next ditty be included.

He is such a good sport and let’s me share whatever I want about him so I suppose I’ll give you the abbreviated version of my least glorious experience these last few weeks, that he is thoroughly enjoying. It is his favorite memory of all month.

It wouldn’t be Fly if I didn’t humiliate myself somehow, right?

I had the most wicked intestinal virus.

This is a major problem for someone who readily admits to being a total prude with very defined boundaries surrounding personal bathroom moments, thank you.

The Handsome Prince knew me for 17 years before he accidentally heard me fart. I’m not kidding in the slightest. Pooping just isn’t a team sport in my book. Sorry.

I was sick on a whole new and soul- sucking level.

I spent so much time in the bathroom over the course of the next week that the Handsome Prince was wondering in and out, just chatting it up since he had a captive audience.

On one of his many passes by where I was perched upon the porcelain throne, he decides it would be funny to poke me… and I laughed and farted explosively.

So he does it again and the exact same thing happened again.

And again.

And again.

Seven or eight times he did this in a row until we both had tears streaming down our faces from laughing so hard and with that I flushed my last remaining slivers of pride down the drain.

“Party pooper” took on a whole new meaning that day.

I. Could. Die.

Are you happy now, your highness?

We still need to square up from the Puss Off, bro.

Now FLY on out of here before the our band of Bengals gets you!

Click on these links for a behind the scenes peek into some other homes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                       Searching for Sanity

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                          Southern Belle Charm

http://www.angelaweight.com                                   Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://peopledonteatenoughfudge.blogspot.co.uk        People Don’t Eat Enough Fudge

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11 comments

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  1. Karen @Baking In A Tornado

    So much to say. Congratulations to K on her upcoming trip.
    I’m so glad The Handsome Prince is safe, what a scary accident.
    And “party pooper”, hysterical.
    Karen @Baking In A Tornado recently posted…Fly on the Wall: We Don’t Grab Nuts HereMy Profile

  2. karen

    people are really removing their nipples???? Seriosuly?????

    I am so lucky the prince had some fast reactions!!!! Glad they are all safe.

  3. Sarah Mac

    Fencing with celery – that’s the best use I’ve EVER heard of for it!
    Sarah Mac recently posted…Fly On The Wall May 2015My Profile

  4. StacySews andSchools

    OMG!! How scary!!!! I can’t even imagine!!!!

    YAY for all the super wonderful things going on!!! I want to go abroad!!
    StacySews andSchools recently posted…Fly on the Wall – May 2015My Profile

  5. Erin

    That video is my favourite, I say most of those things on a daily basis. Can your child come to my place with his loaf of bread? The light in my daughter’s room has been busted for about 12 months ago and I’m too short to reach it, loaf of bread or otherwise. And your toilet story reminds me of the poop battle my mum and I had at a restaurant one night. Needless to say the next person who walked in after us shot us death stares when we were leaving…
    Erin recently posted…May Fly on the Wall – Oh the InsanityMy Profile

  6. Minette

    I’d still be shaking~ Glad to know he’s ok.
    Celery sword fighting is a true art form. I’ve practiced it for years. Lots of skill involved…….

  7. Michele@followmehome

    Meg! The truck story is so scary! I’m glad your man is okay.
    It looks like you’re trying to make time slow down as much as I am!
    Children singing on another continent, celery wars and nipple talk…it all sounds fabulously normal.’
    Thanks for all the smiles you gave me while reading this. Your “Intestinal Virus” story had me in tears!
    Happy Beginning of Summer, girl! <3
    Michele@followmehome recently posted…Fly on the Wall: May 2015My Profile

  8. Robin

    There is so much in this that made me laugh!

    I’m so glad the Prince is safe, as well as the other guy. So scary!

    I have yet to hear of this “nipple removal” trend… Tell Kenzie the “Ken Crotch” has been around for a while, but we usually call them eunuchs.
    Robin recently posted…Flying Words are Better Left UnsaidMy Profile

  9. Eileen

    My cheap usually trumps my laziness, too.

    “Party Pooper”….LOLOL!
    Eileen recently posted…Fly on the Wall- May 2015My Profile

  10. Dawn ~ Spatulas On Parade

    OMG when I saw the SUV on the side…good grief that’s scary
    bacon balls? LOL that got me giggling!
    Dawn ~ Spatulas On Parade recently posted…Wonderful Wednesday 125My Profile

  11. Carol Graham

    My goodness – I’m on overload — so funny. Loved the video and the toilet paper — great idea. Party Pooper!
    Carol Graham recently posted…Letter of Gratitude from an Old DogMy Profile

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