For a very long time I allowed the scary things I’ve been through dictate what I would do in the present and how I would feel.
It was like living the hell over and over each day. Like wearing a floor length fur coat when it’s 115 degrees outside and you are unable to take it off and get some relief.
Some days it seems fine and almost secure to curl up in that furry oppressive coat and wallow around enjoying the divorce from reality that the coat allowed.
You can justify just about anything when under tremendous stress.
Dying inside, cooking with a plastic smile on my face so everything would appear alright.
At some point I got too hot and decided that heavy weight had to go.
I thought about all the things I wanted to accomplish.
I made a list of every reason why I can’t do each one of them… and burned it.
Next list, what I needed to do to reach my goals.
I felt naked without my heavy furry coat of burden. Almost too exposed, as I picture a sheep feels just after it’s has it’s wool sheered.
Who’s stopping me from succeeding, exceeding my goals and having the bright future that I deserve?
Well I’d tried blaming the people that caused me such deep scars.
Their actions were long ago.
I own today, tomorrow and all the amazing things I’m going to do the day after that.
I am the only one stopping me any more.
Everyone makes mistakes. We all experience things in this life that are so terribly soul shaking that it seems like you could never be okay again. Learn from it, take it all in and write the story the way you want it to end.
This is your story any way.
I woke up and painfully peeled out of years of guilt and anguish. I decided that my story would be a happy one. I saw that Cinderella didn’t get rescued by her Handsome Prince. That girl busted some serious butt, learned how to be a dang fabulous person in a state while being abused and when the prince was ready for her greatness, he found her. Then they ruled the awesome kingdom with equality and joy.
I set some goals. I decided to be the person I wanted to be even though many thought my career choices were foolish. I fell head over heels in love with/ married one of my oldest and closest friends, The Handsome Prince. I crossed off so many things on my goal lists and started many new plans, list and dreams.
I found it really hard to look in the mirror.
I didn’t think I was worth a darn thing.
Then I worked harder than I ever had in my entire life.
I choose to live a happy life.
I choose to allow the places that hurt to empower me.
I will not abuse myself for things that were or are out of my control.
We have to learn, grow and reach down to make someone else’s climb a little easier.
I choose to let my successes speak for me rather than hurtle words in retaliation.
I choose to laugh often, eat cookies and dream up amazing things with my Handsome Prince.
Once upon a time I believed I was broken.
I might very well have been.
Then with great love and care I learned to crawl and then walk.
Then I started making my dreams happen instead of waiting for the call that would never come on it’s own.
Our dreams can’t happen if we’re not actively perusing them with dogged determination.
When we started holding the pen and writing the story of our life, we chose to make some unconventional changes that work smashingly well for our family, playing to our strengths and absolutely loving what we created.
We found our own piece of fairy tale in this life.
All because I allowed myself to look forward at where I wanted to go and shed that awful coat.
Fur is wretched and tacky on anything that didn’t grow it themselves so if that’s not a reason to start unpacking those bags I don’t know what is.
Go ahead, drop em!
You are worth so much more that you allow yourself to see.
You deserve to be happy and no one in the world will make you as happy as yourself.
Now look long and hard at those dreams.
Start taking small steps to accomplish those excellent goals.
Take positive action, even when there’s plenty to be negative about.
There is always a solution and always a way to accomplish it.
You need to ask yourself if you are willing to work as hard as it takes to be that person that amazing dreams demand?
Good. Now go into the world and do exceptional things my friends!
We’re all counting on you.
Nothing broken here,