Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust.
Hmm… what personal details have I yet to divulge to you all?
Here I was just taking his picture so they could identify my killer when they found my body back in the hills. Low and behold that gut feeling to snap a shot of Mr. Creepy Creeperton lurking in the mountains gave the family proof that he was very much still alive. Me… of all people knew something about a missing person that I never even met. Now that’s a riot. Does aiding police come with extra karma points or do snitches get stitches? Going to buy some mace.
2. My favorite movies are Rear Window, Romancing The Stone, Funny Farm, The Happiest Millionaire, Barefoot In The Park, Overboard (virtually anything Neil Simon or contains Goldie Hawn is tops in my book) and the Harry Potter series. I have never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies but before you decide to stone me or cut me out of your life forever… I’ve read all the books. I go to the movies about once per year because its not our thing and we don’t care to have cable. Clearly books and ye old trusty VHS tapes are my close partners in crime. Homebody is a gross understatement. I’m a writer. We’re supposed to be a little weird, its the law.
3. My favorite animal is an African Serval. Which could have something to do with why we keep a smaller spotted version of exotic cats because Bengals don’t have teeth the size of a cocker spaniel sized serval cat… I’ll stick with owning a zoo membership for a nice visit. Although living with 8 exotic cats feels like it qualifies for zoo status. For the record- six are ours, the smallest two are just visiting.
4. My immediate response to almost everything scary, uncomfortable, intrusive, annoying or slightly unnerving is laughter.When I’m really anxious or pressed in a position that triggers me (heights, lakes, snakes, aggressive meanie meanertons) I get this manic laugh that inevitably gets everyone around me laughing too. I’ve been told that people think it is a disarming ice breaker or that I’m just a fearless hoot to hang out with but reality is that’s a panic attack in action folks. It happens all the stinking time. I laugh A LOT. Judge not least your coping crutch be far less than amusing than mine.
5. When I’m on a writing jag, I’m most often listening to The Grateful Dead. I grew up listening to The Dead and now they have become the comfortable background that is the soundtrack to most of my major writing projects. I also might have quite the impressive collection of bootleg tapes. I either just got way cooler or you’re wondering if you ever really knew me.
6. I have always wanted to keep chickens. Then I realized they attract snakes, which made me start lusting after a flock of guinea hens to alert us to any snake issues. Then I hear that donkey are great guard animals so I figured I needed a couple of mini donkey to keep the property free from foxes, racoons, coyote and mountain lions. If we were going to keep donkey, well then we need a llama too. You know it just sounds like more fun to say llama. Didn’t know we had enough property for so many animals? We don’t. We are zoned for goat, not goats… goat but they oddly didn’t make the cut. So if we acquire chicken, then we must purchase a much larger place and a heap load of other animals to watch each other while we slowly go insane under the weight of such a hefty mortgage in Southern California. Woman buys chickens is pecked to death by taxes… News at 11. I guess I’m too chicken for chickens just yet.
7. Raise your hand if your doctor has ever prescribed botulism be injected into your body.
Anyone? Now here’s the kicker… this doc was not looking out for the preservation of my youth, no sir, he wanted to stab me in the armpits!? Thank cancer for the ability to flop sweat at the drop of a hat but when I was told the remedy was to pay to inject a deadly disease into my armpits after just beating a deadly disease it somehow did not sound appealing. If there is any botoxing being done it shall be in the name of my vanity, I say! **For those concerned. Clinical strength deodorant applied liberally several times a day keeps the botox at bay. :)**
Now for the nominations in no specific order…