Welcome back to Rest In Pieces, a Fly on the Wall post! Today, thirteen bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you would see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.
Don’t mind the mess… we live here.
This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.
Come on in!
This month has been a rough and a rather emotional one.
I lost several close friends of mine. Friendships that are critical to my businesses, family and sanity. Now, they weren’t the most conventional relationships but their consistency in my life made our days so much better.
Doesn’t that sound like we’re going to have an fun time here? 😉
Oscar the grouchy oven has passed on to cleaner kitchens in the sky.
I didn’t even get to bake goodbye muffins.
He just ceased to work.
I miss that cranky old appliance like you wouldn’t believe. We shared so many good times.
Then we caught a wicked case of sticker shock shopping for a new one. If I’ve got to say goodbye to Oscar, I’m holding out and saving up for my lusted after double oven. We are going to pay for it in cash because we’ve got younger people that need to learn to avoid the instant gratification of credit. It’s not a total emergency so we’re using this as a positive financial lesson.
I don’t quite know how I’m going to rock this winter without an oven but you bet it’s going to be worth the struggle when I can cook a turkey, side dishes and pie at the same time. Oh! Oh! I’m so excited! I can cook all things at once… In a few months.
I’m up for a challenge! Game on!
Rest In Pieces, Oscar.
I drive the carpool every day.
We were stopped at a long train signal. The kids turned up the radio, blairing The Weeknd’s “I can’t feel my face”.
“Seriously, can someone please tell me why this man can’t feel his face? Who would hang out with people that make your face lose feeling?! You really should avoid relationships that require loss of feeling. Next thing you know, you’ll be next to some fava beans and a nice chianti or rubbing the lotion on its skin,” I say to the occupants of the car.
“MooooOOoom! You are so old and totally don’t get it. You have turned into an official old lady,” was the reply I received.
“Hey, I’m still kinda spiffy! I can time Dark side of the Moon album to play perfectly with The Wizard of Oz! That’s not easy,” I say in my defense.
“Thats the example you’re going with? Really? Pink Floyd records and the first color movie?”
Rest In Pieces, my youth.
“The shower won’t turn on!”
Because never ending plumbing issues are so much fun, we got to replace another piece of pipe.
I say “we” a little liberally. This involved real tools and well, I’ve been banned from using them, for the protection of me and everyone around me. I just supervised, paced and reminded The Prince to turn off the water main.
Rest In Pieces, bathroom.
When your kids claim that you are the meanest parent ever, just know that we have you beat.
We got so sick of the laziness and arguing over Netflix shows that we yanked out our high speed Internet years ago. We already had a unlimited data contract for our business hot spot so we got a larger capacity spot and bam, we can control who has wifi access and when they have the powers of the Internet around here.
(Insert evil sounding cackle here)
This is a handy tool when parenting our four teenagers.
Alas, all good things must come to an end.
Rest In Pieces, rad hot spot.
Your contribution to this family was immeasurable. So many groundings you have navigated with us. The loss of you, my friend, has left a massive void in our lives and connection abilities.
You are missed, terribly.
The blue screen of slow death has descended upon my very best buddy, Mr. Laptop.
I thought I would grab my trusty friend and hit the library free WiFi to send off my work but I quickly realized that my elderly friend was far to fragile for an open network.
I wrote my first two novels with him. The countless articles we wrote together, a whole series of children’s books, so many words, feelings, all the hours spent learning, reading, coding and editing photographs. He just supported me without judgement, tried to fix my woeful spelling and excessive use of commas.
I used to joke that I would have him surgically attached to my thigh. We made a great team, he and I.
I’m not ready to lose my closest friend.
Rest In Pieces, Mr. Laptop
The Air Popper I got myself as a birthday present in July, shorted out.
I may be hexed this month.
Rest In Pieces, scorched popcorn popper.
Crummy stuff happens in three’s, right?
The streak of death should be complete.
Hey, Ms. Crockpot.
How about you cook tonight.
Rest In Pieces, two year old crockpot.
“Where can I find the jungle peanuts?” I asked a store employee.
Luc turns bright red.
“Jungle peanuts are two rows down in the middle of the isle,” he tells me.
Luc is red and giggling.
“What is so funny about jungle peanuts?” I ask.
“Mom! You can’t say that out loud,” he hisses back at me.
So naturally I proceed to make up a song about jungle peanuts until I found them in the isle.
“Oh Jungle PEANUTS,” he says with a look of relief on his face. “I thought you were saying penis.”
I lost it in the middle of isle 3.
I made sure to stroll by the isle and point out a can of spotted dick.
He could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard.
I threatened to find recipe for it, which sparked hysterical laughter at the thought of eating it.
Rest In Pieces, another epic parenting moment.
We had that 100+ degree heat wave here in So.Cal and right on cue,
the A/C in our commuter car, The Taco, went on the fritz.
Gas has dropped to under $3 per gallon so the elation we felt over cheap gas balanced out the craptastic A/C.
Rest In Pieces, Taco air.
May the flop sweat be mild and the deodorant strong, as we venture towards cooler weather.
Need to print something?
USB that sucker and let’s hit Home Depot.
The printer is now a large dust collecting paper weight.
Rest In Pieces, printer that I could never work properly.
You guys, this mass exodus has been ridiculous!
On a happier note… We experienced a miracle!
The VCR that died in July, sprung to life out of nowhere.
I forgot that it was still plugged in behind the armoire and levitated several feet when it started playing a movie on its own.
Perhaps it just needed a little vacation.
After that scare, so do I. 😉
The bad certainly outweighed the good this month.
The best part of having a hot string of crummy luck is that there is only so much that can go wrong before the tide shifts. We’ve reached our stressful times deductible so the rest of this year is totally covered, right?
As much as I’ve complained about the rotten parts of this month, there was a bunch of greatness too. Min got a promotion and a raise at work. K is performing in a big show. Kenzie and I are having a girls night and going to the performance tonight.
When times pretty much suck the fun out of being an adult, it makes me especially grateful for our weird family that comes together and makes the plague upon us, sort of a hoot.
It’s been frustrating to lose a few of the convinces we are accustomed to but our kiddos are doing very well, our pets are fabulous, we come home to a safe beautiful neighborhood, we’ve got plenty of food in the fridge, jobs, we have our health, sense of humor and each other.
There isn’t much more to need than all the awesome we already have.
Now hurry up and visit the other Fly writers before I bust out the jungle peanuts!
htttp://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Never Ever Give Up Hope
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://dinoheromommy.com Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com The Angrivated Mom
http://nicholemomof8.blogspot.com/ Nichole Mom of 8
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
http://www.clutteredgenius.com Cluttered Genius
http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/ Eileen’s Perpetually Busy
http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O