Once Upon A Time

 “Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”

– The Wonder Years

secret subject swap smokey

Welcome to Take One of July’s Secret Subject Swaps. This month, Baking In A Tornado got a secret subject topic from 12 brave bloggers and assigned them each a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts!

My “Secret Subject” is: 

Tell us about something that you once could get away with but can’t any longer.

It was submitted by: http://Bakinginatornado.com

Have I told you lately how much I love Karen at Baking In A Tornado?

I wish she were my neighbor so I could laugh with her in person like I do reading her blog. Not only is she a natural writer but she’s a fabulous cook and shares her amazing recipes with mouthwatering pictures. Love this lady… be sure to visit her!

Once upon a time in the century before this one, a great many things have changed…

once 8Once upon a time I got away with it… nearly anything because I was cute and by far the baby of the family.

Now the adorable has worn off but the sass never will. 😉

once 4

I once could get away with rocking the size 2 board shorts and a bikini to go surfing anywhere anytime.

Now I shove all of my wiggly bits into my wetsuit and alas, my shorts are now sized 2 x 4. I’m a writer, I get paid for my brain not the size of my booty. I’d have to break up with Dr. Pepper and Snickers Peanut Butter to squeeze into a size 6 … but then what good would life under caffeinated be?!

once sss 1

Once upon a time I could get away with leaping off a crane next to the Queen Mary to bungee jump over the bay.

Now I can hardly even climb the towers at the water parks to get up to some of the rides because I have developed a wickedly crippling totally irrational fear of heights that starts at about the second story high and produces the silliest manic uncontrollable laughter, full body profuse sweating and it is just not pretty. Funny as all get out to witness gauged by the faces my family makes watching my full fledged freak out panic dance. If you combined the potty dance and being buzzed by several bees while sweating about a pound per minute… you might come close to being able to re-create my bizarre behavior when the fear or heights kicks in. Having children and being responsible for them has some how melted a portion of my brain to resemble what would happen if you left a handful of gummy worms and a twelve pack of crayons on the dash board of your car in the desert during the middle of a heat wave.

once Princess-and-The-pea

Once upon a time I could get away with sleeping in strange places, in odd positions, on all types of ground, furniture or even picnic table. (I was referring mostly to dirt camping with bare essentials or crashing on friend’s couch for a visit… what were you thinking Dirty Birds?!)

If I were to do that now, we might as have preplanned a trip to the ER by ambulance. Alright so maybe I’m not totally decrepit yet but I’d rather pass on sleep than lie down and end up popping muscle relaxers for a week between chiropractor visits shuffling around unable to move a limb with a kink in my neck. Still an avid camper but we’ve invested in the little comforts and have no problem getting a hotel room with a bed rather bunking up with our bros on a couch.

once 5

Once upon a time I could get away with sitting at a bar and never paying for a drink.

Now I can’t remember the last time I went to a bar and I’m fairly certain that I could safely sit there by myself all night eating pretzels and playing electronic trivia. Which begs the question… why did I get out of my pajamas for this? The Handsome Prince says otherwise but I have a way of creating an unapproachable I’m married run away now or be forced to die by eye daggers kind thing working when I’m alone. Truth be told The Handsome Prince is my best friend and its really no fun without him any way. My people are not going out sort of people so they know to just bring the family and come over to our house for the most fun. Plus I’m usually asleep before the nightlife really begins. Big ol’ snooze fest ’round here!

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Once upon a time I could get away with rockin’ the overly sprayed bangs and the Jessica McClintock gag me with a floral print dress. I was hip as you can see by the excessive use of lace. Look at my sister Tiff with the 80’s curls- Love it!

Now… I haven’t had bangs in over 20 years and the ozone thanks me for it. I can no longer splay an arrangement of floral print across my dairy aire nor can/will I attempt to ever don a large bow to further draw unwanted attention to the floral landscape cascading down what the spanks should be holding in. Say it with me everyone…

Just say NO to bows.

 As a general rule keep them for gifts not adorning your two rounded posterior prominences.

once 9Once upon a time I could get away with getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. No problems what so ever. There might be statues and totems erected in honor of my supreme powers of fertility.

Now when we’ve carefully planned things out, we’re really ready and wanted this to happen… its been YEARS of trying, tests, medications, surgeries, devastating heartbreak, miscarriages and exhausted all avenues. Now we find out its nearly impossible for a successful situation also extremely dangerous to move any further.

It is certainly not the end of the world given that we do have a good sized family already but when you put your hearts into something and the choices are taken completely out of your control there is a unique awfulness to the bizarre grief process. So we decided that we might not expand the family in the traditional ways…keeping with OUR tradition I’m sure we’ll acquire more members of this nutty tribe along the journey. Some will stay and some will go but there is always room for an extra place at the table.

Until further notice I’ll be giving birth to novels and humorous ideas only. 🙂

once 6

Once upon a time I could get away with staying up all night watching favorite bands play and dancing then go to work/school the next day 100% ready to be awesome.

Now it might be a noteworthy event if I’m awake past 10PM and rarely do I sleep past 5:45AM. Sleep has become the precious commodity in which we make deals for and feel like there is never enough of. I’ll gladly let you nap tomorrow afternoon if I can hit the sack after dinner kind of brokering goes down often ’round these parts. Behold the lives of small business owners with multiple major fires burning at the moment. My thirties have definitely been more about the sleep to wake up ready to take it all on rather than the dragging butt for a bit of fun. Uh oh… I might get kicked out of Never Neverland with this kind of attitude!

once 9Once upon a time I totally worked the no teeth look. I remember having to learn how to cut apples in my lacy collar, sweater vest and overly perfect curls.

Something tells me this is not a look I could pull of and make work any longer.

Incidentally, let’s chat about this sweater vest while we’re here. I was obsessed with animals and it just so happens that my Auntie had two Scottish Terriers that I thought walked on water. The older dog and I share the same name. Then one day I did the math and realized that the dog came first… I was named after a Scottish Terrier no matter how many times my mother claims it is not the case. I can’t look at a Scotty Dog without smiling now. 

once 7Once upon a time my thighs could get away with anything I so desired being shoved into my mouth. I was always really active and when I wasn’t playing a physical sport I was usually working or in school so I never really gave a second thought about anything I put in my mouth.

Now I couldn’t get away with eating such crap without feeling like the bottom of the kitty litter box and feeling bloated for days. I meticulously read ingredients and carefully cook for better health. It thrills me when our kids choose the healthier snacks and without fail will eat every piece of steamed broccoli I make with dinner. It creeps me out to think of how many years of Taco Bell contributed to my rounded posterior prominences.

Sorry… posterior prominences is just too much fun to say to not bring it back for another visit before we tuck them away into a pair of shorts.

once 7Once upon a time I could play sports constantly. Soccer, softball, volleyball, surfing, cheer didn’t matter if it was pouring down rain, pushing 100 degrees or snow flurries I was totally game and ready to play. I never thought twice about crouching in my gear to catch a double header, throwing a runner out at second without moving from behind the plate or chasing someone down to tag them out no matter how much pain I was in.

Now thanks to my catching days I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder that rears its annoying to aggravate my wing bone. I’ve repeatedly damaged the ligaments in my ankles so I can roll my ankles in a way it would break most other “normal” peoples bones. I’d have to claim that any outbreaks of cartwheels might be alright but my klutzy has only heightened as I grew older. I have too great a respect for the pain that comes from participation so my uncoordinated, granola loving tush is going to stick to yoga and surfing as the extent of my sporty needs. It’s safer for everyone.

once 11It kind of stinks to focus on all the things I used to be able to do so well.

Pity Party… Pity Party table for one!

Like I’m past my prime already at the ripe old age of 33. Oy!

The Handsome Prince is like a fine wine aging gracefully and I’m like an ’79 Celica with bungee cords holding the trunk closed and a cooler propping the seat up. When this this happen?

Then it all makes sense…

I don’t try to get away with those things or any thing for that matter any more. Of course I wouldn’t be good at the things that I used to be because I’ve evolved into a creature capable of appreciating more than Domino’s and good times. They don’t serve the goals and dreams I have stretched out before me any longer as they once used to.

It is a part of the foundation that made me the strange little human that I am but then again the world needs all the quirky, colorful, fun, magical, sparkly, different, playful and totally awesome it can get.

Don’t you think?

once sss 2Each one of these writers below are incredibly talented and have extended you a gift today… a special story that only they can tell. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

http://BakingInATornado.com                                   Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                                       The Momisodes

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/             Moore Organized Mayhem

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/                Stacy Sews and Schools

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                                The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                     Menopausal Mother

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                             The Insomniac’s Dream

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                       Searching For Sanity

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                              Evil Joy Speaks

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

 

 

 

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8 comments

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  1. Oh, how growing up has stolen our youth! I was just complaining this morning, to my husband, that I couldn’t sleep that great last night due to my bladder, heartburn, and my back aching. This post made me weep for my younger self…

  2. wow, love how you wrote this post…it was a great way to remember all the things we could get away with because we were young and cute…now that;’s our kids’ role…

  3. Loved this, Meg. It’s profound to realize so many of those characteristics we had in the past are there for a reason. You have grown into a kind, brilliant adult. I’m sorry about your later pregnancy issues. I know how hard that can be. Big plans are awaiting you. Like you said, there’s always an extra seat at your table. How fun will it be seeing how many people will take you up on that offer? Cheers to discovering all the things you can and will do with the rest of you life.

  4. You made me laugh and you made me cry (being an In Vitro survivor), But thanks to the return of “posterior prominences” you made me laugh again. Although I long for the days of a lot of what you’ve listed, I’m hoping to put off the return of the toothless thing for as long as possible.

  5. There are so many wonderful things I was able to get away with when I was young….then I became a mom and most of those opportunities were lost. But here’s the good news: 3 out of 4 have left the nest, and the youngest will be taking flight in just a few short years. And you know what I have discovered in middle age? I can get away with a whole lot more now!!! Beautifully written, poignant post!

  6. There were so many things that we just can’t away with these days! I could relate to quite a few of these! Right now my body is hating me as I’ve had way too much junk food (mainly sweets) the last couple of days. My heart says YES and my body says HELL NO!

    As always, your writing is entertaining and touching. I always look forward to your Swap and Fly posts! 😀

    • Miss Lyss on July 15, 2013 at 3:02 pm
    • Reply

    JUST SAY NO TO BOWS!!!

  7. Hey, great post! How scary to look back on memory lane and remember what you could and couldn’t get away with… mind you, I can get away with things now that I couldn’t then… such as tell my parents to shut up when they are giving me good advice that I intend to ignore… Thanks for sharing!

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