March Fly On The Wall

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

-Mark Twain

flyMarch Fly On The Wall

Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall.

The real, the weird, the life as only my circus can live it…


I’m putting together the batter for Ginger Cookies when K announces,

“Sometimes I feel like a Peacock… but then I remember I’m Kira.”

Then does a twirl and some dramatic theatrical arm movements. Strutting from the room, I can’t believe I’m actually shocked being a theater geek myself but a peacock?

She struts past again wearing” the peacock” expression.

I am dying inside.

Kenzie walked in to get in on the cookie making action.

“Mom, K’s a peacock.” she informs me.

“Yup.” I say trying not to laugh and/or pee my pants at the moment.

Kenzie sighs, “It just gets better. I could write a book about all you people and it would be SO weird no one would believe it.”

“Eccentric, Honey. Maybe colorful, goofy but see we’ll be the stuff the vast empire of work shall be based upon and face it babe, you don’t want to miss any of the crazy.” I say.

“True, so if K’s a peacock, can I be a…” she never finished the sentence so I figure I just didn’t hear the info.

“What are you, what?” I ask confused.

“You can’t rush an artiest MOM! You of all people should know that! I’m going to my desk to think…” her voice trailed off or she was out of my hearing range.

Peacocks and persnickety artistes, oh my!


Min was loitering around waiting for her turn in the shower as I typed away on the computer.

She starts telling me about this writing prompt she had in English class.

“Thumb makes me think of murder. So my poem started like:

My Thumb has magical powers…”

She now had my full attention and mild concern for her twistedly awesome imagination.

“Well, Lil’s (Min’s Best Friend) poem started like:

My thumb looks like Denzel Washington!”

These people will be driving in six months.

Are you scared?

I’m terrified!

Maybe they’ll still carpool, given that they both have freakish thumbs I guess it was a friendship that was meant to be. 😉

nut pen

“Where’s my pen?” I ask the kids gathered around where I’m signing permission slips, homework journals, reading logs and shelling out cash of school related activities.

I had a pen there a second ago.

Min walks by the room and comments at my furious searching efforts, ” Yeah, I flung it.”

She keeps going.

Frankly I don’t know if I stupidly tucked it somewhere or if this teen queen of the one liner was really serious.

The pen was never located.

I think it went to live with the left socks of the world that go missing.

He must have been tired of being pushed around.

I feel ya pen.

I signed in pencil even though my sixth grade teacher harped on the use of “Only Pen” on things of an official nature.

I’ve never signed a contract in crayon or sharpie.

Can’t say the same for reading logs and homework agendas.


K had borrowed something and came to return it.

I looked up from what I was doing.

“Mom, I’m just going to stick this in your hole. (referring to the cubby hole in the desk where the item belongs)

Eh, um in the hole, your thingie… I mean it’s in it’s special place…”

** She’s now totally realized how her innocent statement sounded and correcting it was only making it sound even more odd. I sat there just staring at her with an expression of mild amusement. She was so embarrassed.**

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to make eye contact with someone saying things like that! Gosh Mom. Way to help me out!” She stormed out.

Some how I got blamed but did nothing but smile.

It was worth it because when she left I laughed so hard my side ached.


K fell and hurt herself… AGAIN.

If you want to hear about the adventures of her homicidal feet, you may do so HERE and HERE.

Kenzie hates to miss out on an experience so she asked to accompany us on our mission to the hospital to get our resident accident prone victim medical care.

On the way home I asked if anyone wanted anything and the answer was a unanimous vote for Shamrock Shakes.

I pulled into McD’s and the very day after St. Patrick’s Day, there was no more.

Promotion had ended. 🙁

Berrie smoothies and some fries for good measure, we were on our way again.

“We did this same thing last year.” Kenzie reminds us. “We went for shakes and missed it last year too.”

“I missed it the year before that too.” K chimes in.

“Remember mom got that shake for us and stuck it in the freezer and it stayed there until August?” Kenzie giggled.

Shamrock Shakes eludes us but I can’t help but not be too sad about it.

There is just no way they are as magical as when I was a kid.

Certainly not the 6 month old freezer burned variety.

i can be

My snarky teen announced…

You need to wear a sign that says:

I have an extremely low tolerance for stupidity and people behaving badly.

You know it’s only fair to give the general public an opportunity to shape up before you have to set them straight.

Are you trying to say I have a temper?


Okay, I really can’t stand people not actively being a part of their lives therefore causing a disturbance in mine which constitutes a good talking to.

Great Mom. Smothering and mothering where ever she roams.


I had just made my last after school activity kiddo pick up for the day and we were slowly making our way back home.

We pull up to the stop light just over the train tracks. The lane next to us was empty but in the right turn lane there was an older truck with two younger guys in it.

They caught my eye because they were laughing and obviously carrying on a boisterous conversation.

Now my whole car is watching these two as they both grabbed their noses and leaned out opposite windows.

The driver leaned out dramatically pretending to gag while holding his nose and laughing.

Min started to narrate the scene with the most outlandish story which made our whole truck erupt in a roar of laughter.

The driver looked over and saw us watching them and he smacked his buddy.

Still holding their noses there we were all strangers cracking up at each other on the corner of Tapo and L.A.

The light changed and we drove away laughing.

In the words of Min, ” This shall be re-told and I shall call it Stink Car!”


I handed K a bunch of $1 bills for lunch and a snack during rehearsals.

She looks down at the wad of cash funny.

Don’t you think that’s enough?

“Totally,” she says.”I was just thinking how many of these dollar bills have come from a prostitutes pants.”

Repeat Please.

” Money travels and changes hands all day long. I just wonder where it’s been.”

I’ve wondered the same thing.

The part about where money has traveled not the whole from a prostitutes pants part.


“Min, is that nail polish? You need to take it off before you go. It’s hideous!” I tell her gazing at her awful looking pedicure. She was going out of town and would be spending most of the time in a pair of flip flops.  Just looking out for a girl.

“That is my toe, thank you.” she says.

I smile awkwardly and her eyes turn to tiny slits.

She had the same corrective surgery as her best friend in the Fall on both toes.

Healed but the color of the nail is something of science fiction specials.

“Let’s try a darker shade of polish color to um, accentuate the better features of the toe nail.” I try to say cheerily.

“You just called my toe hideous. What am I to do? Go around with my freaky feet destined for a life of solitude and wither away like a social outcast? Gosh Mom and I thought you loved me. Would you like a shovel?” She razzed me.

I look back down at the toe and promptly get an uncontrollable bout of the giggles.

“You are killing my self esteem!” she warns.

I’ve progressed to Tom Hanks like fits of laughter.

“Are you on crack? It’s whack ya know.”

Which only made me laugh harder.

We’re both laughing, in walks Luc who catches the laughing bug and was cackling with us in no time.

Kenzie couldn’t resist and was laughing too.

K pokes her head in the room.

“Gas Leak?”

The room full of hyenas erupted again and K just shook her head at us all.

Almost fully composed again I lean over to Min, “Seriously though FrankenToes needs a disguise else we scare small children.”

“Mom, you have such a way with words,” she grins back at me.

fly skank

Bob is Down!

My friends, there has almost been a tragedy in a bathroom near me.

After 18 years of faithful good times accompanying us all in our bathroom activities, Bob bit the dust.

(If you don’t recall that we’re not related to Bob and his adventures you may do so HERE.)

The Handsome Prince has been working overtime on top of overtime with a side of extra projects to make a great many things happen lately. We had curled into bed both totally exhausted. We kissed goodnight and BAM!

It sounded like something was thrown through the window.

The Handsome Prince leaped up ready to put a few holes into anyone that had just come in.

“It’s just Bob!” he yells from the bathroom.

So Bob Marley leaped off the wall and is sending messages from the great beyond?

“Really? Reality doesn’t really live in there.” he say pulling out the picture. ” The wire held it up for 18 years just let go. Freakin’ spirits from the great beyond… You, you go to the weirdest places.”

I’ll sage the bathroom just in case.

Can’t have Bob popping by for a chat when I’m shaving my legs.

Everyone misses Bob in the bathroom though.

“When you die, I want Bob.” Kenzie has staked her claim.

Someone has to keep him company, maybe someday he’ll get better scenery.

life instructions

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  1. I think we need to change places. You come live with snarky dinner comments from teenagers for a while and I’ll come enjoy Peacocks and persnickety artistes and Bob. If it sweetens the pot at all, my son works at McD, and we still have Shamrock Shakes here . . .

      • Meg on March 22, 2013 at 9:42 am

      Luc’s life ambition at the moment is to own a McD’s. ;D

  2. You totally outdid yourself this month! I laughed ’til I cried.
    Still puzzling over the “left sock” business, though. You have RIGHT and LEFT socks?!

      • Meg on March 22, 2013 at 8:52 am

      The girls have right and left socks. Kinda like day of the week underwear. The other day K was wearing 2 left feet. That might account for the reason why she can’t walk and chew gum. 🙂

  3. I am laughing so hard that I’m crying!!!!!! Freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!!

  4. I’d misplaced my youngest’s social security card. I looked EVERY FREAKING WHERE for it, in every little area of my wallet all to no avail.
    The other day, I opened my wallet and there the card sat.
    I’m fairly certain it’s my prankster father in law, letting us know he is with us even though I’ve never met the man (he passed in 2007 and I didn’t meet and marry my husband until 2008). It’s not the first time it happened……
    What kind of surgery did your girl child need?

      • Meg on March 22, 2013 at 9:11 am

      She had ingrown toe nails on both feet and had the permanent correction done on both at the same time.
      I never discount the possibility of things not fully explained.
      Good thing he was a silly joker and not a crabby guy or he’d be meeting Ghost Hunters 😉
      I like the idea of loved ones keeping an eye on us.

  5. Meg, this was so funny!
    We made the mistake of giving up fast food for LENT. I totally missed out on the Shamrock Shakes this year 🙁
    RIP Bob. (again) 😉
    Having teenage girls will give you enough blog content for the rest of your life.
    Oh, and don’t feel bad. I signed my son’s reading log with an orange crayon just this morning!

  6. I don’t think my thumb looks like anything or anyone very interesting. I think I might be sad about that!

    You know, I’ve never had a Shamrock Shake, you’re saying that I’m missing out on something pretty good? Apparently you are too, being late and all!

    Oh it’s PENCILS that go in the black hole in our house! We always have plenty of pens!

    Great post! I enjoyed it all!

    • April on March 24, 2013 at 6:08 am

    Mother of all… the fly on my wall will need therapy after an hour!

  7. Hahaha … your family cracks me up!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. 🙂

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

    • Leslie on March 24, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Oh my goodness, sounds like the entertainment never ends at your house!

    Thanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.

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