“Insanity runs in my family.
It practically gallops.”
It is time once again!
Let Me Sleep– a Fly on the Wall Friday post! Today, twelve bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.
Don’t mind the mess… we live here.
This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.
Let’s first get the business out of the way…
The Prince hath declared that Fly must contain a story to go on the royal record.
I am supposed to cop to yelling at The Prince for being awake in the middle of the night and waking me up while turning on a movie. I am such a jerk.
Yes, this is true. I totally have done that very same thing to him a zillion times BUT he has no problems falling back asleep, where I’m now up for several hours. This man makes nap taking an art. He received the rage of a bitchy insomniac who was happily sleeping and groggy from repeatedly waking from the half dozen things he was doing in the middle of the night.
I know, I’m a horrible evil wife, I should be punished with more mountains of dishes and laundry.
He may have failed to remember that the reason why he was awake in the middle of the night, annoying his sleeping wife, was because he took a FOUR AND A HALF HOUR NAP that day, which may have played a role in why the wife may have screamed “IF you truly loved me you would let me sleep!!!” rather irrationally and perhaps hysterically, in the wee hours of the morning.
Moral to the story:
He who wakes wife, gets toilets flushed while showering.
Bless our craptastic old school plumbing for passive aggressively solving all our problems once more.
I haven’t slept since 1998… you’re killing me smalls!
We had a bunch of extra chairs in the living room that the kids would use to play video games in a huge herd.
One night, the leg on the chair K was sitting on broke and she totally crashed to the floor.
As she lay sprawled across the floor, she announced that the chair’s name was “Kathy” and only she could sit on “Kathy” forever more.
Kathy, the broken chair, lived in our living room for the rest of the month… sure enough K often sat precariously perched upon her broken “friend”.
Then finally, Kathy was no match for Mario Cart.
Once again, K went crashing to the floor, waking us in the middle of the night.
Kathy has been graciously donated to the desert bonfire wood pile.
Don’t ask… I’ve learned it is just better to accept the strange and save the fight for another occasion.
Nice picture of my toes, eh?
The Handsome Prince and I brought the family out the the Santa Monica Pier to spend the weekend sharing all of our incredible Plexus Products at our booth at The Bike Expo! We had the best time!
It is always fantastic to be able to involve our whole family in our businesses.
Plus the kiddos weren’t so sad to spend very little time working and tons of time in the ocean, arcades and on roller coasters.
I left myself a note on the pad of paper I keep by the bed.
I often wake and scribble notes or reminders to myself.
Sometimes I don’t even remember writing a note or doodling a picture.
Hi, me! Here’s a picture of a stick cat! Thanks Me!
See, I wont even let me sleep!
I digress, my brain has a tricky way of being brilliant just as I’m nodding off.
I don’t remember what sparked this unconscious gem but apparently it was an important message I had for myself:
I can do anything with a good bra and a chicken taco!
Then I circled it MANY times in another colored marker… because, you know, good bras and a tasty snack are behind every fabulous woman’s success.
Overheard conversations that make me wonder:
-Why does the cat smell like Pop tarts?
~We Have Pop tarts?! Who’s not sharing!
-The cat smells like Pop tarts, we don’t have Pop tarts.
~Come smell the cat! Oops, it got away!
-Which cat? Al smelled like mango yesterday.
~Start sniffing cats!
-They all smell different!
~Duh! The girls always smell better because girls always smell better. It’s a scientific fact!
I burn a lot of Nag Champa Incense Sticks.
Partly because where we practice yoga is also feet from one of many litter boxes and because frankly, it is a very comforting inviting “home” smell that we all love. It is relaxing, calming and centering.
I text The Prince and ask him to pick some up for me the next time he happens to be by one of the shops that sells that incense. Perhaps I should have been more specific… what that fabulous man did was try to be super hubby of the year and get me the one foot of incense HUGE version. These suckers will burn for five plus hours, easy.
I love him and his great big heart and two days later he brought me 4 regular sized boxes.
I would rotate what rooms the never ending incense shall travel to, for even distribution. We’ve even had to open a few windows in the name of stupendous sniffs that can be a bit much… unless you happen to be in a 12,000 square foot warehouse, with ventilation.
Min was in her first skateboarding accident (don’t worry, she’s fine!).
Fortunately, the van that hit her was turning from a stop so it was really slow but of course, they took off after she rolled over the hood. She got back on her board and rode home with just some scrapes and bruises.
Girl got back on her board the very next day and insisted she could get herself to school. She’s got a whole lot of awesome in such a tiny, tough package.
Two days later she turned 16!
She has every intention of skateboarding over driving for the near future.
I’m so grateful fear doesn’t stop her from enjoying the things she loves, even if it scares me to death.
The following weekend she was kidnapped by Ren Faire. (Renaissance Faire)
We haven’t seen much of her the last few weekends because our little gypsy was busy going on quests, eating giant turkey legs and having the time of her life.
“I was talking to my friend, you know, the one you met when we were at store and I was choking on that hairy mustache?” Kira says.
OMG! This kid wore one of those big bushy stick on mustaches into the store, just because she’s K and that’s my theater gal for ya.
Of course, she immediately runs into a friend of hers and they start laughing together.
K takes a big breath in and a bunch of the mustache hairs come shooting into her mouth and down her throat.
She’s part gagging, coughing and still laughing BUT she does this with Shakespearean Tragedy Flair that no one really knows if this is some sort of performance piece or if this hairy lipped girl was really in peril.
She grabbed my water bottle from the side of my purse and drinks half of it.
When she comes up for air, she announces, “Well! Phew! I just ate mustache. Mom, this is my friend…”
People were standing there wondering if they should applaud.
Then she ripped the ‘stash off… and inhaled more of it.
Sputtering she grips my arm and coughs out, “We’re leaving NOW” and I am escorted out by the elbow by a girl wearing a bushy mustache in her hair and choking for the second time in under 3 minutes on her accessory.
“Sure,” I tell her laughing. “How could I forget the ‘stash that strikes back introduction.”
My Auntie Mar passed away… ironically on my Mother’s birthday.
Funny how life never turns out in any way as you could or would ever have believed.
You would think that as a writer I could muster up some profound statement to perfectly convey all that swirls through my head but sometimes when your heart is full, each word feels so empty.
No, the exorcize kind.
It was $9 and I got excited.
Need a way to propel you back to your youth? Buy a tramp.
We’re having a blast with it! Super bad mood buster!
Did you know that it is nearly impossible NOT to smile while rebounding through the air?
Who knew the key to happiness was bouncing on a $9 tramp?!
“Don’t change your tone of voice with me!” ~ Me
The fam knows very well what pitches I can’t hear anymore so they use this to their advantage. Stinkers! The whole heap of them!
Luc and I were out running errands when his flip flop strap broke in mid step and the kid walked right out of his shoe.
I figured I had an extra pair of cheap-o flips in the back of the truck but none were to be found.
There was a pair of K’s black flowered flats.
Luc grabbed them without any mind and threw them on.
He wore those shoes through two more stores until we arrived at a place to grab another pair.
The flip flops, not the girlie flats- so we’re all cruising the same strange path together.
“Who cares what is on my feet for the next five minutes? Maybe I like flowers, what of it? Keep driving that cart and worry about your own feet, people of the general public,” He said when I asked if he minded wearing his sister’s shoes for a minute. “They are pretty comfortable though.”
High five, confident kid!
“I signed up to give blood…” Min states.
“What?! She who has passed out in my arms having immunizations? She who gets sick at the sight of blood? Wait…it is processing. *Deep Breath* YOU signed up to give blood? Voluntarily?” I ask her, rather shocked.
“Ha, ha. Yes, I thought it was the right thing to do! There was a problem,” She says.
“What problem? Are you okay?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I’m fine. The problem was that I don’t weigh enough to donate blood. I’ve been rejected by the blood bank and I didn’t even get a cookie!” She tells me.
“You were giving blood for the cookies, huh?” I ask.
“You know me so well. Seriously though, you’d think they would want to give me cookies to fatten me up! Where’s my cookies for being a brave cookie?! Sheesh!”
Just one dog? Really?
K likes milk a little too much:
“When I’m old, I’m going to create the most amazing type of cow’s milk and I will call it Sanity Milk. Everyone will crave Sanity. Then one day I’ll be like, ‘Hey do you want some Sanity?’ And they will be like “Nah, I can’t have Sanity. I’m lactose intolerant.’ Think about that awesomeness. You’re Welcome!”
“Unicorn! The cart looks like a unicorn with your broom!” Min decided as I strolled through the store.
She then plugs in her earphones and begins randomly dancing because being me isn’t distracting enough but having someone dancing with the festive summer display of sunglasses next to me simply insures a successful shopping experience.
The kids all went off to fetch their respective items and I was left with the Solid Gold Dancer to meander the isles.
Apparently a rather spirited song come on because Min was now twirling with the scarves- interpretative dance style- through the isle straight for the end of the cart. Of course my Mom Brain says “Look out! You are about to impale yourself upon the broom in my cart.” What came out of my mouth was something SO much better than intelligent communication.
I’m now standing in the middle of my local discount store, waving my arms about screaming “UNICORN! Unicorn! UNICORN!”
I think the children may have melted my brain a bit.
Bright and early the morning after the night my wonderful spouse was up half the night, The Handsome Prince wakes me up by flinging open the bathroom door and yelling,
“Honey! Honey! Look! I can touch the cat’s tongue while it drinks from the tap!”
I peel my eyeballs open to see two cats in the bathroom sink. The Prince has his face inches from the water too and is excitedly petting the underside of the cat’s tongue as it drank from the faucet that was on. He has a look of sheer delight and wonderment that most people don’t understand but for someone with a terrible cat allergy, there are tons of cool things about living with exotic hypoallergenic cats.
I love his inner child, just not so much while I’m sleeping.
Now… The Prince has requested that I disclose that it was 6AM when he woke me with the cat and I usually get up with him at 5:30 so technically it was a service he was providing.
Need I remind him that I work from home and homeschool with no concrete hours but I feel guilty if I don’t start my day at the same time The Prince does. Therefore, your fabulously perfect for you wife must just be freakin’ awesome, which brings me back to the most important part…
For Heavens sake! Would you all just let me sleep?!
Get outta here and have an fabulous time with the other Fly writers…
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Battered Hope
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://sorrykidblog.com/ Sorry kid, your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others