Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance. Today 14 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall thanks to an excellent challenge extended from the ever talented mind of Baking In A Tornado. (Super Blog Links at the bottom)
Bloggers in their natural habitat… the wired, the scary and the blunt truths as only we can live it.
January Fly On The Wall
Min is the mini version of Jim Carrey.
She strolls into our room and swipes a Reese’s out of the Handsome Prince’s candy stash as they chatted. I kept trying to get their attention. I was explaining this program before they decided to ham it up.
Could you people just pay attention to the very unimportant picture I’m trying to edit!
“Hello, Meat…” says I.
Min snorts and launches a chunk of peanut butter cup into her nose which triggers a painful sneeze.
Tiny partially chewed Reese’s dripping in snot specks covered my computer screen.
“You Sneesed. Sneeze + Reese’s!” The Handsome Prince proclaimed proudly, high fiving the chocolate snot launcher.
“Well, let’s now view my Sneesed flavored meat.” I say dejected.
It’s not every day one’s computer looks like it caught the Reese’s virus.
“Hey K! I got 400 Likes on Facebook.” I proudly tell her.
“That’s great for you. It’s not like you’re Justin Beiber mom.”
Rock star clearly in my own mind… only.
Bob Marley Strikes AGAIN!
Ol’ Bob was responsible for my having to explain what the word “skank” means to the dinner table this week.
How does one issue a Merriam- Webster’s answer about THAT topic with a straight face when The Handsome Prince and Min are tossing gutter balls under their breath. They are cracking up.
I was doing really well until I looked at The Prince who mouths the words “Slut for Money” at me and bats his eyelashes.
It was over then.
I couldn’t stop laughing. “This is why I love you people.” Min declares.
K is totally mortified that this is happening before her eyes.
Changing the subject I blurt out, ” Did you hear Al sharted at The White House?”
The table erupts in laughter.
“Nice deflection.” says The Prince.
It’s good to know my work is appreciated.
Min is sitting on my bed talking to me when she yanks up her sleeve and scratches her arm violently.
She makes a funny face.
“I feel like something bit me. (she leans in to inspect her arm that looks normal) I’m going to be on the show Monsters Inside Me and then Mystery Diagnosis. They wont be able to solve it. It’ll be a rare case and I die. They never show they ones that die because well, who wants to think about something eating them form the inside out? Oh it’s the seam.”
Nope, no drama here.
“What if I was a Unicorn and was unicorning around the house,” asks K.
“I am the Unicorn of Joy!”
You are something.
A parental high point…
“Close the door and shower or I’ll kill you because you smell like you’re already dead!”
If that little ditty doesn’t inspire a shower Daddy-o I don’t know what will.
Don’t worry, it was said in jest… well… mostly.
Luc decided that he wants to make some money and asks if that would be okay.
I agreed but soon he was heading outside with his best friend.
Luc had noticed that two neighbors had received a delivery of wood in their driveway. Ever the entrepreneur he marched over there with his buddy and haggled himself two jobs stacking wood for the day.
I finished making a list of chores he could do only to find that he had REALLY been serious.
At 9 years old our son went into business and had his first sub-contracted employee.
When you say to kids that they have to earn things,
Be more specific in the details.
We like to teach Life Lessons.
The little birdies will eventually be off on their own.
Life Lesson #247: Look Before You Sit… Or Start Singing.
Should you find yourself stuck on the porcelain throne, no toilet paper in sight; It will cost you an original song.
You don’t get something for nothing in life.
Min is currently stuck singing a new rendition of Silent Night that goes a little something like this…
“Oh Holy Crap… I went without paper…
I’m still stuck. Stuck by my butt.
My legs are numb my rear has a ring.
My day has taken a crapper it seems.
Free me now from this toilet space
because we share a room and I’ll hold a pillow over your… oh Thank you.”
Many a wicked tune has been busted from the pot.
*We usually wait until at least verse two to help the stranded pooper. Or until singer has become homicidal.*
Does not matter how many times we say good night and put people to bed, the whole herd ends up in our room chatting it up every night like a bunch of turkeys.
Shoo them off but they come back.
I love you but now you have crossed over into off duty parent time.
The only sure fire way to clear a room?
Announce that I’m getting naked now and my people RUN for the safety of their beds.
I should be slightly offended but I’ll take a win anyway I can get it.
So all I have to do to get a vacation is be naked?
Hmmm. Note to self: Turn off Skype before vacationing.
I had asked people to help me a zillion times.
Everyone was lounged about the living room reading or playing games.
I stood there in the center of the room and wailed an exasperated cry.
I looked around and not one of them had seemed to even notice.
“Was I supposed to acknowledge that outburst? I thought it might have been an OMmmmmmmmm thing. How may I assist you?” Quips Min without looking up.
Oh how the smartassery runs deep.
Luc and I had a little accident at the market.
A bit of a miscommunication and he got his finger pinched in the freezer door.
If you hear him tell it, I overzealously launched myself into the freezer case after the last two tubs of Chocolate Cookies and Cream ice cream on clearance.
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t too far off the mark but then to further my application for mother of the year I handed the abused child the ice cream to hold on the finger as he teetered on the verge of tears.
I looked deeply into those wounded eyes and pulled a great one out to make him laugh.
There, frozen pizza adjacent I busted out a fact that had been shared by The Plucky Procrastinator.
“Luc did you know that Romans had to swear on their testicles that they were telling the truth and that’s where the word testimony came from.” I say.
“Awesome!” he says giggling.
To quote Min, “This shall be retold!”
The next 48 hours testicles were the hottest topic of conversation.
Testes, testes… 1, 2, 3?
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