“… And I have been missing the rapture this whole time,
Of being forever Incomplete.”
This week the letter I is for Incomplete.
(I’m still behind so I’ll be hopping around through the letters until I catch up )
Alanis Morisette wrote a beautiful song called “Incomplete”.
You may listen to it…
It is one of many songs that I’ve drawn inspiration, understanding and given me another perspective in which to view this life.
It’s about her journey to understanding that work will always be there, milestones are never enough, there is no finish line at which we can sit back and start live the life we want to.
I often feel incomplete.
I need a new this or that. Goals that have been set and worked upon lovingly are slow to take shape. I’d be happy if I could just get to this place or if that project would pan out. I lack. I can’t. I’m scared. I doubt. I don’t know enough about this to keep up. I struggle. My hearing loss causes barriers at times that frustrate me to the ends of the earth. If I just had 2 good working ears, more time, stronger self worth, a well of confidence to dip into and a laptop from this decade. I work work work work and lose sight of why.
The list is long…
Incomplete is a beautiful place to be!
If I knew it all already, why would I get up everyday? What point would there be in cracking a book, researching a topic or communicating with others?
Frankly being Incomplete is what sparks me, drives my passions, pushes me to be ever expanding my talents and confronting my fears.
Everyday I learn from others. It’s exciting!
My fears make me continue to seek avenues of growth and embrace change.
Suffering from the occasional self confidence back slide has taught me to be kinder, speak kindly and have compassion instead of judgement for myself.
My hearing is a rough one but I’ve learned how to speak up for myself, be comfortable requesting others to look at me when they speak ( which feels like your hanging a giant ‘Hello I’m Defective’ flashing neon sign over head) and stop to engage in a conversation 100% instead of hardly hearing and multi tasking. It’s forcing us to s-l-o-w-l-y learn another language and I has opened my eyes to many things that I may never have grasped.
Not knowing how to read html or format squat, I launched this blog into the world with nothing more than a desire and some ideas. I was SO scared that I would be getting the Gong, the theater hook and laughed right off the Internet. Guess what… I learned and found so many supportive friends that offered guidance. Now I’m helping friends set up their own pages, confidently tackling my own coding and having a blast learning something totally new every single day. The scared gave birth to a thriving place for my Nutty, fostered beautiful friendships, gave me a new opportunity to grow as a writer, a friend and entrepreneur.
My lack has taught me to speak up and admit that I don’t know. Ask for help. Accept advise and help graciously and thankfully. I respect someone so much more when they choose to voice that their outta their league and want to understand the concept before them. You can only fake it for so long before the walls come crashing down. You can’t knock someone for continuing their own education and seeking information.
I can’t has been banished from the realm of Nutty.
Yes I can, I will, stand back this could get sparkly! I try hard not to allow I can’t to get a hold of me. As I grow, the I can’t gets smaller and smaller. With every challenge I conquer it reinforces that Oh Yes I CAN. It might take me a few but I’ll rise up and beat it ever time. I learned the difference of having pride and being prideful. Rescuing yourself is sexy and confidence is Gorgeous.
Being Incomplete is a beautiful gift!
I hope to never be whole… my journey would come to an end.
I already have everything I need to succeed.
There will always be a places that I’m Incomplete and they will change like the seasons. Evolving, growing and I’ll be enjoying every last bit of this ride.
Those weird quirks and lacks will not stop me from fully enjoying this wonderful life that I am so fortunate to partake in.
Yes, we all have to work to keep the lights on, food on the table and be responsible adults for our families.
Doesn’t mean that we can’t work hard so we can play even harder as often as we can be together.
Who wants to be the all knowing perfect person anyway?!
That would be a terribly lonely place to be.
No need to chase someone else’s dreams when my own are absolutely amazing and make me the strange little critter I am. I’m not waiting for one day to live the life I desire.
I live it EVERYDAY.
I’ll stick with Incomplete- It suits me.
No Finish Lines Here,