I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.
– Dr. Seuss
It is time once again!
Holy Flarp Nuggets, a Fly on the Wall post! Today, fourteen bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you would see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.
Don’t mind the mess… we live here.
This is the awesome, dramatic, super colorful, sometimes unexplainable, awkward moments that make up our days in the strangely bizarre tight knit group of uniquely puzzling people we’ve created.
Holy Flarp Nuggets!
It is a saying in our family that sort of works similarly like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
You know, “something to say when you have nothing to say”, except in this case it is usually used in place of a more spicy and less socially acceptable F word. It was born from a fart putty verses rug experience years ago.
That’s right, I said fart putty.
When the Handsome Prince arrived home that evening he found me sniveling and trying to get the tiny pieces of Flarp out of the rug. When he asked what the heck was on the runner, I was so upset and frustrated that the only explanation that I could muster was “Flarp nuggets”.
Out of that craptastic moment came our saying “Holy Flarp Nuggets” and it stuck like glitter glue.
We started this new year with fantastic goals, awesome game plans and working our rears off to make it happen.
Then January crashed into us… Holy Flarp Nuggets!
Every single day since the first, something fairly crazy, distressing or devastating has happened.
This is nuts!
Here we were excited and totally embraced the arrival of fabulous opportunities of this awesome year but it had far more sinister plans for the Land of Nutty.
It is as though the universe has conspired to give us a swirly in the toilet of life for the New Year.
I’m telling you that even though January has totally been flarping ridiculous, I firmly believe that we are totally plowing through our share of bad for 2015 early and simply setting up for the most fantastic year to date!
*Insert Glitter Cannons Here*
So… even though a lot of our Fly this month is stuff that stinks on ice, I encourage you to laugh with us. It really beats crying and throwing yourself on the floor.
I tried last week… my knee still hurts.
Holy Flarp Nuggets, middle age!
Right on cue and apparently to drive home the message that this month was going to be rather cantankerous, I’ve lost the bulk of this post three times. Stupid frozen screen of slow laptop death.
My life isn’t funny enough to experience this many times in a row.
I’m living the writer’s version of Groundhog Day!
Fourth time is a charm!
Hold on tight… it could be an emotional ride.
The past few months I’ve had to feed her on and off with a dropper. She was my constant shadow and even though we have her beautiful fur family still running around the house, there is a huge hole where Bella belongs.
There is no doubt that all of our animals know exactly how much they are loved, doted upon and appreciated.
Bella especially, she knew. I held her every day and told her so. She was my girl.
Holy Flarp Nuggets, losing her has been really tough.
You know you are married to your best friend when you are watching him dig a hole with tears running down your cheeks, ugly crying, with snot streaking everywhere and the most natural thing to do at that moment is start cracking jokes about hiding bodies.
We’ve always weathered the storms with as much twisted humor as we could muster. Getting through January shall be no exception.
I thought I’d whip up some pancakes one morning.
The second the batter hit the grill, I knew something was off.
It looked a little strange and smelled way different that I was expecting.
As the first batch came off the grill, I ripped off a piece of one and instantly knew my mistake.
I used tumeric instead of cinnamon.
We have a deodorant conspiracy on our hands.
Four different sticks, two brands purchased at different times, totally crumbled into a zillion pieces into four armpits within five minutes this morning.
Sooooo we learned that either we are all really aggressive appliers or I need to play the lotto today because what’s the odds of that weirdness?!
A moment from K~
“Ooooouch! It hit me in the soccer ball! My soccer ball hurts. My head! My head! (then grumbles off finishing the thought in German)”
Did anyone bring their English to K translator?
Mine isn’t working for this one.
Remember that awesome feeling when the teacher would roll the T.V. cart into your classroom?
Hallelujah for movie day! Right?
This feeling is totally lost on our homeschooler.
I put in “The Miracle Worker” and he was less than enthusiastic.
“Mooooom! It isn’t fair!” Luc protested. “No one else on earth has every book in creation and the movie they made about it. Wasn’t reading the book enough? Did I not learn enough that I have to see it in black and white too?”
Just trying to give you the authentic school experience, kid.
Perhaps now would be a bad time to tell him that I ordered the VHS version of “A Wrinkle In Time”… the book he is reading next week.😉
Someday he is going to appreciate my educational efforts on his behalf, but not for at least the next 80 minutes or so.
Min is all about make-up and hair at the moment.
This includes a fascination with fake lashes.
She arrived home at curfew on a Saturday night and came in to tell us about her evening. In mid sentence she pulled off some lashes and all I could do was point and squeak out what should have been words but they jumbled together and exited at decibels that are barely audible to the human ear.
She thought it was hysterical.
One of these days, these kids will kill me with something stupid like this.
“Woman dies from rubber snake gag” is not the headline attached to my obituary, Thank You.
I did pick up Jaws 3 to complete the entire set.
I said goodbye to the girls and they headed out to the Handsome Prince’s car to get a ride to school.
A few minutes later, the front door opens and Kenzie appears in my room with a pouty look on her face.
“Dad said I had to come back in and brush my hair again. Every time I brush it today, it only makes it bigger, fluffier and more wild! Men, they just don’t understand these puffy hair problems.”
It’s okay, Kenz. Just go with the fro. 😉
Beware! Your washing machine can be totally evil.
Ours decided to give up the will to continue and announced its resignation by flooding the garage.
I became she who sits at the laundromat.
There is almost a zen like quality about watching your towels go round and round.
It was on one of those trips to the laundromat made me feel like the giant industrial washing machine and matching massive dryer needs to come live at my house.
Oh the comforters we will wash together.
It would be a beautiful friendship we would share.
I started thinking of ways to convince The Prince that we really needed to upgrade to these super sized laundromat models.
Then I googled how much this relationship was going to set me back and that burst my bubble really quick.
After that sticker shock, I was thrilled to bits when my Handsome Prince got the old washer working again.
Holy Flarp Nuggets!
Kenzie texts me while I’m at the market.
“How do I clean up dog throw up?”
With a paper towel.
“She drank two bowls of water after getting into the trash and it is everywhere. HELP! I’ve used two rolls of paper towels.”
Ahhhhhhh! Revenge of the tumeric pancakes!
I arrived home and am greeted at the door by the Handsome Prince.
“Just so you know, the house smells like farting broccoli vomit. Brace yourself! There is pancake everywhere!”
High five, co-captain of chaos!
Our neighbor stopped by~
“Your house always smells so good. What is this wonderful scent?”
Long awkward pause.
Me~”Incense! It’s opium incense.”
I guess we are just so weird, we have to clarify these things. Lol.
Just another normal Friday night here!
It is just such a shame she couldn’t join us for farting broccoli vomit night.
That dose of reality would have left a lasting impression. 😉
So far this month, Luc and I are hiking 3-4 miles each day.
We have a couple hikes we want to take that are 9-13 miles long so we’ve been diligent about hiking daily to build up to the first one at the end of the month and then the longer one in February.
I love to hike but this is all Luc’s idea.
He is the motivation that gets us into the mountains everyday.
Let’s play find the snake in the horrible picture!
We spent the day at the Los Angeles Zoo .
It was a lot of fun!
Except, I became aware of a tid bit of info that I must have blocked out somewhere along the way.
So… we were cruising through the nifty new reptile houses and I noticed that every type of rattlesnake that lives around here was hanging out in the tree in their enclosure. I asked the zoo lady about this curious observation I made. “Oh, rattlesnakes love to hang out in trees. They are exceptional climbers,” she informed me.
Now I hike more than the average person and all of my rattlesnake encounters have been on the ground… but perhaps that was because I’m too busy scanning the ground for them and not looking up at the potential aerial snake assault.
It was probably wishful thinking that I refused to picture rattlesnakes in the trees.
I had nightmares last night about the trees raining rattlesnakes in the gorgeous forest I was trapped in.
Sometimes a tiny bit of ignorance really is bliss.
She has had a thing for the flamingos nearly since birth.
It seemed necessary that we mark the moment with a ‘Mingo Selfie!
I haven’t seen it for over 20 years!
The other one you know better as Father of the Bride 2… well, the better, original version, that is. 😉
Holy Flarp Nuggets!
What an incredible find!
“I had a dream last night that I was bungee jumping off a bridge and when I jumped, I totally pooped myself and it covered all the people floating down the river. Then I woke up. Thought how weird that was but then went back to sleep. Only to jump, poop and cover the river people again. Three times I dreamed I bungee pooped on people last night? What the heck is that supposed to mean?” Min asks
“I think it means that you should poop before you leap. Even more important is to choose a company to jump with that is accident free, licensed and insured. Perhaps you shouldn’t tell me about it until after you took my advice and lived. On second thought, I don’t want to know. I can’t handle the idea of you dangling by bungee. Consult your father first. He’ll probably go with you so he can make sure it is safe,” I answer.
“Alrighty, talk to Mom before getting a belly button pierced because Dad can’t handle that in the slightest and avoid Mom and take Dad to leap for our lives. Good to know,” she replies.
One more year until she is 18… I’ve got to instill these nuggets of wisdom everywhere I can. 😉
The battle cry of the sibling who shares a bathroom:
“If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to bring my DS and iPod into the bathroom with me. I’m not kidding. I’m going to sleep in that room and you will never get to pee again. So if you want to see your toilet again, MOVE IT!”
Holy Flarp Nuggets!
May it be brimming with possibilities, overflowing with hope and smothered in love.
Click on these links for a peek into some other bloggers homes:
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com Juicebox Confession
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Battered Hope
http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/ Eileen’s Perpetually Busy
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes