“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,’ said Piglet at last, ‘what’s the first thing you say to yourself?’ ‘What’s for breakfast?’ said Pooh. ‘What do you say, Piglet?’ ‘I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?’ said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. ‘It’s the same thing,’ he said.”
- A. A. Milne, ‘The House at Pooh Corner’
I confess! I may be a file hoarder. My computer runneth over!
I had THOUSANDS of emails saved, projects I’ve worked on and essays written over the years. I had to come to grips and stream line my nonsense! As I went through deleting and printing, I came across a bunch of things I wrote when the kiddos were ages 9,7,5 & 4. I laughed. I cried and remembered why I chose to forget some of those “gem” moments. I was grateful to look back, read my thoughts from that time and remember little moments about each member of our family from my strange perspective. Embarrassing but so totally awesome! So here’s a day in my life ::FLASHBACK:: to 2007…
“Ah Ha!” I thought to myself as I slipped the Curious George DVD into the player. I may have just bought myself 5 minutes of peace and ever illusive “me time”. Stepping over a pile of over due laundry, pausing to curse the inventor of GAK, as it was artistically adhered to the floor under the kitchen table. Complete with a sprinkling of Barbie shoes and little green Army men posed as though they had just taken down K’s Bratz doll. The dolls long multi colored hair would never recover from the 4 year old Verses GAK moment. Heaving a sigh, it would have to keep for I was a woman on a mission!
Slipping out the sliding door, silently praying that my escape had gone undetected, I popped into a patio chair. Surveying the cover of a 2 month old People Magazine, I decided I shouldn’t wait so long again to find out the juicy scoop. As I scanned the table of contents to see where I wanted to jump in first, a voice rang out loud enough to alert the entire neighborhood. “Mommy! MOMMY! AAAHHHHHH! He’s going to get me! MOMEEEEEEEE!” Kenzie shrieked in a pitch that only 5 year old little girls are capable of.Just like that I was sucked back into the vortex to reality. Drat, foiled again!
The kids were doing their best professional wrestling impression to see who could get through the back door first. Tumbling together like a two headed monster, arms and legs entwined in battle. Falling through the doorway, plowing through the sleeping dog and launching into a rather ungraceful dive smack into the offended dog’s water dish. Now soaking wet and giggling, they began a chorus of “it’s today! It’s Today!” Tuesdays are Library Story time, a time that the youngest two love. We had 25 minutes to get cleaned back up and get it together if we were going to participate. Using my Wonder Woman Mommy Powers, they were semi cleaned up as I sat down to tie my sneakers. I was feeling rather pleased with myself for having made it on time as the kids enjoyed the stories. Nothing is ever super smooth with a 4 & 5 year old in the mix but we made it not worse for wear.
After the last story was read the children headed for the craft tables to make a small craft. Craft time was an extra special bonus for the kids as they always try to have their craft match the stories they had read that day. As I hoovered over my munchkins, to make sure Luc was not gluing his sister’s hair again or stapling any clothing or body parts to the table, the story time lady walked by and asked them, ” Do you like pancakes?” That’s a weird question I thought but the kids enthusiastically nodded their heads. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland, the nice lady chucked lightly and walked away. I asked the kids if I had missed them reading the story about the pig and the pancake. They both said no. What about last week? Again the answer was no. At that time I firmly decided the nice lady was NUTS or I needed to find out what happy pills she’s taking. If there is a miracle pill that makes doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom after a 4 year old boy has used it, look sunny then there are a great many of us that sorely need it NOW. Nutty or not we were headed to the park to run off some energy before picking the older girls up from school.
As I was bent over applying sunscreen to my daughter, my son decided to announce in his loudest outdoor voice to a rather crowded park, his newest observation, “Look Mommy! Your wedgie underwear has sparkles!” As stifled snickers and outright laughter erupted, I was looking for a place to hide. My Mary Poppins Mommy Sized Purse was indeed fairly large but any attempts to crawl into it might further draw unwanted attention to my undies. Go figure, I had left my emergency invisibility spray at home, next to my cape that would have covered my rump roast. I cursed the low rise jean trend and vowed to return the embarrassment to my littlest one some day. Then pretended my book was really good, so as to not have to make eye contact with anyone who now knew my sparkly secret.
Wonder Woman Mommy was feeling slightly deflated and hyper sensitive about the choice of jeans as we drove to get the big girls from their Elementary School. Milling around with the other parents waiting for the bell to ring, I was contemplating my dinner options when I hear a familiar voice behind me. My girlfriend exclaimed, “Are you trying to make a fashion statement or what?!” I slowly turned around, deciding that my jeans MUST DIE!!! She turned me back around to peel a mini pancake from my butt that I must have somehow sat on earlier that morning.
“Friends don’t let friend wear breakfast foods!” she quipped between bouts of laughter that brought tears to both of our eyes.
Note to self… Look before you sit!
When your kids and your rear threaten to unravel your less than perfect self esteem you just have to view if for what it truly is, humiliatingly funny. If you want to survive being a parent, you have to learn how to laugh at the every day silliness until your face hurts. Before you know it these little people will grow up and you’ll long for the day they tried to make a surprise cake for you, while you were in the shower. Forgetting to use a bowl and the surprise was all over the kitchen tile. Yummy! Being a Mom is not for the faint of heart. When your baby gets up on stage for their first class performance and all the other parents are all there too, cameras rolling. Your heart swells with pride and there before everyone your darling is the only one, finger in nose or doing the universally recognized “potty dance”. Awesome!
You have but one choice… giggle and with as much pride as you can muster, announce to all within earshot, ” Awww, she takes after her father.”
Hope you enjoyed the flashback.
It’s been fun poking through old things but I did get control of the file hoarding situation and now we’re back on track.
Wishing you a wonderful week!