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Fly On The Wall

 

 

Oh to be a Fly On The Wall..

Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance. Baking In A Tornado extended the challenge and today 15 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

http://BakingInATornado.blogspot.com  

                                http://smn0409.blogspot.com/

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/ 

                                http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

http://DeBieHive.blogspot.com  

                                http://raising-reagan.com/  

http://mybrainonkids.net/ 

                                 http://followmehome.shellybean.com

 http://sorrykid.blogspot.com/ 

                                 http://www.simplychicforyou.com/       

http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/

                                 http://frikkenduckie.blogspot.com
http://sanitywaitingtohappen.blogspot.com/
                                 http://www.momaical.com

 

The Scattered, the Scary, the Utterly Bizarre things you would hear if you were A Fly On The Wall around here the past few weeks…

“You likened me to a 70′s rap song?!?! Dynamite!” says The Handsome Prince trying really hard to sag his pants and look tough. “What up my Sista?” Then busts out a cat in the hat kind of rap. Don’t worry, the world is safe. My MC Hebrew & Our Chosen Crew won’t be getting any record deals anytime soon.

Hot Gluing is awesome! Just not on a shoe… no good. Bad things happen to good people when someone starts trying to hot glue shoes at the very last second humanly possible before rushing out the door. I’d like to thank my children for the infinite wisdoms I am learning that do not and will not apply to normal life EVER.

I’m considering installing a trapdoor under my Welcome mat. If solicitors and religious zealots can not or chooses not to respect the NO SOLICITING sign I have prominently displayed on my front door, I simply can suck them into my underground vortex. Their punishment for being utterly annoying and NOT going away is to be trapped in my vortex for 10 minutes while listening to nothing but the intro to Teletubbies over and over. When their time out is over they will be treated to an automatic message of me explaining what NO Soliciting means. Then the vortex will open up and dump them into the Grand Canyon. Over time I’m sure there will be a thriving Solicitation City there… but it will be FAR FAR away from my door.

MOM! M-o-M… I have a question.

Alright, let’s hear it.

How many pizzas does it take to get to Narnia?

Huh?!

You can’t because tissues don’t have wings!

Honey, I think something is REALLY wrong with this kid!

Have you met you? Let me introduce you to how I hear things when you start on a roll.

Nice!

 

“When Lily has her babies, will the kittens have an ability cord?” asked an inquisitive Luc.

When he learned that yes, our kittens will be born with an “ability cord”, the light bulb turned on.

“Our cats have a belly button??!! SHOW ME!”

He successfully located the dog’s belly button too.

Thus prompted everyone to compare belly buttons.

“Did you know that the belly button is the smelliest part of the body?” he says jamming his finger deep into his belly button and offering said finger to his sisters for approval. Which only proved to send screaming girls running from him.

“Chicks don’t dig belly button odors but yes, I’ve heard that. Please wash your hands.” I say.

“He pointed the finger at me,” Kenzie shrieked as Luc walked past her in the hall. ” I’m going to get brother belly lint cooties!”

 

“I’m actually getting kind of popular amongst the socially awkward crowd.” K announces proudly

Someone got to my blog by searching for Opossum Feet and Giant life sized gummy bears.

Better than last week… Again, Toilet Tent was the top keyword

Makes me question things, strange humans and how I can get my hands on a giant gummy bear.

 

I couponed 48 packages of free pens in August. Here we are in November. I know there are pens. I know they exist around here and there HAS to be a lot of them. WHY for the love of chocolate can I NEVER find a pen at the moment I am desperate for one! This week I’ve made notes, taken down information and jotted a much needed number down: On 3 different mirrors (one twice) in lipstick or cover up, with an aspirin on colored paper, in the steam on my shower door, dirt on my car. Where are all the pens! WHY do I keep losing them? I need a writing implement, not a dirty car!

Flash forward a few days: While dusting, I spied a pen behind the sofa. Moving the beast, I discovered that I had just uncovered Snape’s Hiding Place. There before me was 100-120 pens, my dust pan brush, The Handsome Prince’s boxers, my necklace, a stuffed rabbit, some of Luc’s Lego guys, the headband Kenz was looking for, Min’s beanie, several swirly straws, water bottle lids, cat treat bag unopened, fluff from my sewing stash, my ball of sewing pins, a package of wet wipes, box of band aids, the charger for my camera (that I might not have confessed to The Handsome Prince that it was missing until now), an Advil bottle with one pill left, my flip flop, dog biscuits, a package of 500 unopened Popsicle sticks, hot glue sticks… Klepto Cat was behind my loss of pen! Behind our loss of EVERYTHING! Snape has been practicing the Dark Arts under my living room sofa! Paws off the pen fur person!

Min is taking Spanish.

The exciting news is that we can all successful cuss in another language now.

Thanks Min! Oh the cherished memories that we make.

K broke the Peter Meter.

There are just not words to explain. None.

Handsome Prince:”Has Molly eaten yet?”

Me: : “No. We’re not speaking.”

Handsome Prince: “You stopped speaking to the dog?”

Me: “It’s a mutual thing. We argued this afternoon and…”

Handsome Prince: “Hold on. As awesome as it would be for Molly to talk, (squints eyes and tilts head to the side with raised eyebrows) the voices really don’t actually talk to you, ya know, in that I need to check you in for a visit in the rubber room type of way right?”

Me: “I’m good, Thanks.”

Handsome Prince: “Okay, so are we going to make up? How does one make up with a relationship like this?”

Me: “There shall be avoidance from both parties. Then someone will soften and reach out. Petting will ensue and there might be kisses too.”

Handsome Prince: “I’d think you were really weird but I totally get it.”

Sometimes the relationships that have the most meaning don’t need to share words to be heard. Molly isn’t just a dog. She’s an equal member of the family. My best girl friend, hiking buddy, personal vacuum and sometimes 5th child in one sweet wagging package.

“Applying deodorant to hair is not effective at halting B.O.”, says Min as she deodorizes her hair by accident.

 

Here I am, just dusting The Simpson’s figurines proudly displayed on the mantle above the fireplace.

A spaced reserved for framed photos, decor pieces and there in the center like the crown jewel in the collection we have,

 The Simpson’s.

Oh, not a penny was spared on the purchase of these lovely action packed figures, no sir! We dug deep into our pockets several years ago and made the sacrifice… We ate Happy Meals to get them.

With every artery clogging trip, I slowly made sure The Handsome Price got the whole collection. **Burp**

It was though the heavens opened up and gifted him a divine miracle when I finally got Maggie to complete the set. Perhaps, I resorted to begging and paying an employee an extra $5 to secure the sucker but I didn’t have to eat another bite that way. The Handsome Prince was SO THRILLED with his set of The Simpson’s, he made a place above the fireplace “for all to enjoy”.

Months later, I tried to give them a less prominent home within this circus we call home.

He noticed within minutes of arriving home. Squawked his displeasure and they again they are featured in the center. As you walk in the door and look into the living room, The Simpson’s is the first thing you see. For whatever reason The Handsome Prince likes it that way.

There are bigger fish to fry so try not to be jealous of The Simpson’s on my mantle. You too can be tacky!

I wonder if somewhere else, someone is dusting their Simpson’s figures above their fireplace too.

We DO NOT sleep with bananas!

Why wouldn’t someone expect to awake to find 6 bunches of bananas and 2 big bags of grapes on their bed.

Happens to you all the time, right?

I was cuddling with bananas!

 

The oldest two are arguing… AGAIN.

We could hear something was not right from our bedroom.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock! Go!

Paper disproved Spock, I had lost and took my turn at the task of moderating what the quarrel was about.

As I opened the door we could hear that truly something was not right!

One kid was yelling in Japanese and the other was yelling in Spanish!?

 No one made any sense but like hell I was about to break up this NUTTY study session.

Some things are best left… just shut the door and pretend it didn’t happen.

“I had the craziest dream,” I said to The Prince as we woke from a nap. “I was in labor and gave birth to a huge sandwich!”

“I could really get behind some sandwich making.” He says.

I lean in to snuggle. He looks at me funny, ” Why are you getting comfy? I thought you were going to make sandwiches. I’m hungry.”

The Handsome Prince was deep in the middle of the parenting muck when he uttered the best statement I have quoted and laughed about for days:

“I require THREE things- shoes, a bra worn and a clean butt.

If you can not provide the world with those things, you need NOT leave the house!”

If You Give A Mom A Fruit Snack…

If you give a mom a fruit snack, will she eat it?

No. She’ll accidentally cough, snort, swallow, hiccup, totally involuntary bonanza going on while innocently eating a grape Welch’s fruit snack.

Sending the partially chewed snack painfully rocketing into her sinus cavity.

Will the seasoned vet freak out? No. She’ll yelp and blow her nose 47,000 times.

47,001 the evil flavored treat, dislodged from her brain and came out.

If you give a mom a fruit snack, she’ll pass because those suckers really hurt spewing from the nostrils.

Do you smell Grapes?

 

No, I’m NOT afraid that llamas are going to take over the world and of all things holy, THIS is the deep thinking you’re doing in the bathroom?!

 

Honey, you have to think like this. Motorcycles are just like a human body, except it doesn’t complain a lot when you start taking pieces out.

 

An argument broke out between Luc and Kenz. Wanting them to learn to resolve their own differences we do what every respectable parent would do in our position- be noisy and eavesdrop.

They were arguing about the time period that the Ice Age Movies were from.

Kenz was annoyed with Luc so to be a snot she was trying to convince him that B.C. stood for Before Comedy.

He wasn’t having it.

Ya know, Adam and Eve were not funny at all.

They were WAY Before Comedy.

A gem from Min:

“My Friends think you guys are hippies because we don’t have cable TV and are kinda old school. It’s pretty cool because everyone loves you guys and hippies are awesome too. But I told them we can’t be true hippies because we shave our pits.”

I didn’t quite know what to make of all of that so I went with snort, start to laugh, choke on my gum, fear for my nose, cough and eject the offending gum on the windshield.

Min’s pits and my gum tried to kill me in the school parking lot.

If you were a fly on the wall you might be inclined NOT to drink the Kool-Aid around here or risk catching the weird.

I really wasn’t kidding with the whole Just A Little Nutty thing. ;)

If you were a fly on the wall, you would be hunted by fierce Bengal cats, witness random bad karaoke, pranks, ninja moves, contests to see who can slide farther down the hallway in their socks, nose picking, arguing, lots of cooking but even more love.

If you were a fly on the wall, you’d be shooed out or squashed.

I’d rather not smash my friends and have to wipe them off my wall.

Don’t just fly by, hang out, grab a recipe, share one with me on Facebook Page, say hello and be sure to buzz on by the ever amazing Baking In A Tornado (who put together this excellent challenge) and the list of the other incredible Bloggers that took on the challenge. (Link List at the top of the article) I can’t wait to take a peek into their talented lives!

People as a whole are a nutty bunch.

We all have funny, strange and odd habits that are frankly just normal to us.

That’s what makes us each truly unique and AWESOME!

Keeping it Just A Little Nutty,

Meg xoxo

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5 comments

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  1. Kat

    Wow! This was an amazing post! and it generates sooooo many questions… I suppose if I limit myself to just 1 – very difficult – i would have to be – did Kenzie survive the brother belly lint cooties?

  2. Sarah @ The Mommy Chronicles

    If your house is anything like my house, you have a 3 year old pen thief that takes the pens and hordes them for future drawing on herself use. If not, maybe the pens made it to Narnia!

  3. Michele

    Meg. All I have to say is Thank you. Thank you for sharing the crazy that is your house. I often feel so alone in that department. Anyone who can lose 200+ pens behind a sofa is a kind of lady I want to know. Ha! Now you will not only have people find you via Large Gummy Bears, but gummy fruit snacks logged in orafices. Cheers!

  4. Lanaya @ Raising Reagan

    Why is there always a pen thief??
    And bananas? Hmm..who doesn’t love a good banana cuddle session!

    Lanaya
    http://www.raising-reagan.com

  5. Roshni

    OMG!! Tell me about the place behind the sofa!! How things manage to get there is beyond me!!

    “I’m actually getting kind of popular amongst the socially awkward crowd.” This has to be the best line ever!!

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