“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is on a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
We’ve all experienced moments where we could almost watch our dream get torn up and discarded like trash.The times where you pour out your hearts desires only to be met with judgement, belittling comments or outright laughter.
There you stand trying to keep your head up, biting the inside of your lip, fighting the urge to scream while your heart breaks right in two underneath the critical weight. Dream crushers that none of us are immune from. You know with every breath that you take in that you are meant to accomplish, to challenge and do something great… your thing.
Dream Crushers only see it their way. There is no telling The Queen Of Hearts that her white roses are a beautiful blessing without losing your head. When the Dream Crushers come for your head it’s difficult to remain unaffected and plow the course for those bright goals ahead. It’s hard not to hear the echos of words that came from people you respect rattle around long enough in your creative space it’s bound to do some damage.
Like a rock thrown into the lake but the ripples are harsh words replayed over and over like never ending ripples that quake through every fiber creeping up to steal the quieted mind.
Dream crushers are par for the course for a writer.
I’m told no far more than offered the opportunity but the wins are sweet as honey keeping me continuing to tap the well that brings me so much happiness.
I foolishly thought I had built an effective set of armor to separate my emotions and business goals.
Then I took a meeting that I had worked monumentally hard to prepare for.
I got my head handed to me.
The criticism was very harsh. Everything I currently am needs to be tossed out the window and start over type of nasty conversation. I admit that it absolutely cut me to the quick and caused instant doubt.
His parting shot was “You’re just a foodie blogger.”
The way he said it made it sound filthy and demeaning.
I felt so bad. I let his words sink right in and I rolled around in the I’m the worst ever I suck pit of yuck.
Who the hell gave me license to think I can do what I want in life?
I still didn’t publish a recipe for over two months. Dr. Evil had stolen my Mojo!
I got several new writing projects and was cruising along working my tail off when it hit me.
He took the time to check me out. He was well versed with my work and wasted a lot of time cutting me down.
My dream crusher might have made me pause but he also did me a big favor.
I’m working even though he said I’m in the wrong business.
I decided instead of being arrested for gathering up his awful words and shoving them back down his throat, that I’d just keep working, sharing the things I love in a way I enjoy and eventually there will come a fleeting moment where he’s going to kick himself for being an arse or at least I’ll pretend he will so I wont feel so wounded.
It reaffirmed after a long hard stare down I had with myself, that yes I may be a bit nuts but I steer this ship not some random dude that clearly did not see the magic in the package.
Not everyone needs to see it the same way, that’s what makes life so fantastically colorful and gives us an opportunity to constantly learn.
Dream crushers are EVERYWHERE!
Psst! I’m sorry to tell you this but you’re one too.
Yup! I am too… everyone crushes each other with our words, action or inaction without hardly being awear of it.
We are raising several artists, each have their own mediums that they excel at but as you can imagine a house full of creative artistic people can get messy in many ways.
Min has been writing an insane amount of poetry recently.
She’s even been invited to participate in a poetry slam and submit some for contests.
She shares them, often leaving a poem or two on the white board for us.
The other day I read a particularly dark poem that prompted a discussion as we ran errands.
We then totally locked horns creatively.
Epic creative battle ensues.
As well meaning as I was trying to offer suggestion to expand and several avenues I’d love to see her explore, she didn’t take it that way. I didn’t mean to but I was totally being a dream crusher.
I could see her tears build, out of the corner of my eye. She felt like I didn’t like her expression. That I was dismissing something important and I totally didn’t get it.
Me of all people. With no effort I plowed right through and tossed rocks in her creative well.
I remembered how fragile I felt to have my work, my art, the sum total of who I am ripped apart and tossed aside.
“I don’t have to always love it or get it for it to be wonderful, powerful and amazing. Just write and always pour it out there girl. Doesn’t matter if it’s read by millions or just me but I love every word because it bleed right out of your heart and soul.” was my attempt to bridge that gap and let her know she’s incredible.
We’re all writers.
We are all in the process of writing, filling the pages each day that will make up our life’s story.
Don’t you stop for one minute something that makes you happy.
If you are willing to work harder that you ever dreamed possible and never let go, you might not make it exactly to the places you thought you wanted to be.You might find better places and bigger dreams on the journey but you’ll have a great time learning along the way. No on gets to decide what your talents are or how you use them. Not everyone has to like you or get the message. It’s tough not to listen when dream crushers side swipe you and sometimes we need to stop and take a healthy evaluation of where where at, then plow on chasing those goals.
We are all responsible for the energy and feelings created with our actions and words.
Everyone has something wonderfully fabulous to share with the world and it’s not up to us to decide to impose filters on others.
Our children are listening closely.
Do you want them to dream, create and fly?
Or should they feel that their heart’s expression isn’t good enough.
What would have happened if Neil Simon gave up?
Maya Angelou? William Butler Yeats? No Emily Dickinson?
You, Min and even I have a place amongst those who are changing this world one word at a time.
Make every word count, in what we do and what we say.
No one needs dream crushers but we all sure could use some great dream builders that cheer you on every step of the way.
High Five you dreamers, you hard working creative people, those that continue to pour themselves into their art and dare to express themselves fully.
Go into the world doing great things, adding the color and beauty as only you can.
You are not crazy for following your dreams, exploring the places that make you ignite and losing yourself in the work that gives you life.
You have so much in there that needs to come out.
Get busy. Get motivated. Create!
Dream crushers will always be there but we’ll lean on each other.
Reminding each that this is our beautiful life that we are in the process of creating. It’s an infinite path were strolling down together learning and growing along the way. Each holding a sparkle that can only be tapped in our own unique way. Hugs to you that got a hunk of their rear handed to them and kept trucking.
We all understand.
Shed a tear and shake it off. Now get busy and shine like never before.
You are absolutely worth it.
I believe in you.