Welcome to January’s Fly on the Wall group post- All Covered In Cheese! You know the drill… today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around.
This is the real, the bizarre and the nutty as only we manage to step in it…
All Covered In Cheese!
Um… well… you know, it always sounds like a good plan.
You guys, I tried to take a “selfie” while hiking the other day to stick in my notes for a book I’m working on.
This is what I got…
For the love of pancakes, I am just so terribly ungraceful in some ways, it is painfully funny.
I totally had to swipe this picture from one of her friend’s Instagram account to share with you.
Yup, there’s our girl snapping a photo during class BUT the best part is… the other three girls are doing exactly the same thing.
(They actually had a free part of their class… so technically it was allowed.)
As I was sweeping all the various tampons into a pile, the doorbell rang.
It was Fed-Ex and then I felt compelled to explain to the guy why I had a pile of tampon pieces in the entry, that he couldn’t take his eyes off. That went over well… and by well I mean, he probably called in to have his route switched.
Innerspace and Road Trip… 2 for .25 cents!
Cheapest double feature date night that I can stay in my fuzzy purple pajamas and hang out with The Handsome Prince.
You know, if cats could speak English.
If the Bengal Bunch beats you to the bathroom in the morning, they are more than happy to turn on the sink and play in the water. They have every intention of including you in these festivities too but I have had to stop my day several times and give a super happy cat a bath because I spit toothpaste as they leaped into the sink.
They love running water- Bathing in it, drinking straight from the faucet. They are attracted to water like a moth to a flame. They all know what “out” means and begrudgingly exit the bathroom, only to wait on the other side of the door to make sure that you have gotten out of the room safely.
I thought it was weird to pee with a toddler staring at you.
Try a whole legion of exotic kitties that get the biggest thrill from watching you flush the toilet.
That’s the stuff of bad B grade horror flicks, folks.
She reads more than the average bear, is very inquisitive and comes up with some really thoughtful things sometimes.
We encourage the kids to ask so that they learn and they know that no topic is off the table or taboo. If you’re thinking about it, let’s chat.
We sit down to dinner and a little while later Kenzie asks,
“What’s a bastard?”
Honestly, I can’t help but smile and snicker a bit… I’m human and that was kinda awesomely inappropriate. High five!
I know this kid and she’s going somewhere with this. Bastard was not a term tossed lightly, she had been thinking about it.
The whole table was laughing but fell silent as I started to issue my dictionary type explanation.
“I watched Austin Powers and I wondered why on earth someone would refer to themselves as a ‘Fat Bastard’. We all know he’s fat but what do we care that his mother wasn’t married when she had sex. That was totally irrelevant to the story, which makes him just fat but you can’t say fat, you’d have to call him something like Gargantuan Thunder Britches or something because I’m sure someone is offended.”
How do you argue with Gargantuan Thunder Britches?!
“It is a character,” The Handsome Prince states.
“I know. I was just feeling argumentative.”
I asked what was wrong and she told me the story.
“I was in class and this guy sat next to me. Everyone knows he’s way into drugs and stuff. In the middle of class he tried to put something in my hand, telling me to hold it until he saw me later. So basically I pulled a you, mom. I went all awkward. I tried to stand up in my desk and screamed at him that he would see me nowhere, ever. Then the desk and I almost fell over. The whole class saw me freak out while nearly crashing to the ground. I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about that happening again, I think I scared him… and all of the rest of the class.”
I award your awkward the highest of fives!
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tictictictictic
His toy hand grenade went off.
Strange ticking and mock explosions adds a spicy twist of anxiety to doing the laundry.
After I peeled myself from the ceiling, I re-folded all the clothes I launched everywhere.
They have both met their reading goals for the year (for school) and are now trying to double it or more. Yeah, I never said that we weren’t totally bribing them with a big carrot if they pull it off.
We only claim to be good parents. No one else said anything about great.
I’m averaging THREE trips to the local library per week because of their ravenous reading.
It struck me the other day that most of the employees and volunteers know myself and my kiddos by name as well as favorite our reading genres. Maybe that sounds a bit geeky but honestly, it is a fact that I am rather proud of. Time spent with wonderful books in excellent company is never a bad thing.
I said no more animals. We agreed.
Then we were having some trouble with big roof rats on the property. (a story for another day)
A dirty, skinny cat showed up and lurked about the outside of our house.
I was trying to discourage this cat, given the Handsome Prince’s allergy to regular cats BUT when he decided to sleep on our side yard, all our rat troubles ceased.
After a couple of weeks he got his name and Sir Paul McCatney now has his own food and water dish in exchange for his awesome mousing skills.
He lives in our bush and comes and goes. He’s friendly and has been fixed.
We needed Paul and he needed us.
Perhaps he’ll stay a few more months or maybe he’ll move on but I have mad respect for a dirty creamsicle looking cat that works hard for his kibbles.
I warned him about Jerry our not so friendly opossum.
*Note to self:
Check which direction you switch on the shop vac when holding the hose directly pointed at your face and good grief, keep your mouth closed next time.
Hitting blow and getting the contents of the nasty outdoor wet/dry vacuum hurtled into your face at once, is not exactly the preferred way to go about having an awesome day.
They always sleep touching each other.
It is very endearing.
Luc was having a blast messing around with The Prince and interrupting the eating of the royal churro.
His beautiful fiancee was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer.
We attended a benefit at a local restaurant for her and picked up the cutest cupcakes that her kids were selling.
I thought it was so darn cleaver the way they packaged them in a clear plastic cup and the vanilla cake with raspberry frosting was fantastic!
The Handsome Prince and I know all too well what it is like to fight this wretched disease.
Do you feel like Mexican Food?
Come out and have dinner with The Handsome Prince, myself and some of our friends, the night of February 4th in Simi Valley, Ca. in support of a fabulous lady that needs our help.
Appetizers on us!
Are they really this cheesy in person?
Yup, but here’s your chance to see the nutty in awkward action, while eating flan.
Flan makes everything awesome.
Email me if you’d like us to hold a chair for you at our table!
Oh sweet sunshine!
I had just opened my bedroom window when the neighbor’s pool sucker thingie got something stuck in it.
It sounded like something hideous was viciously sucking the life from a few people three feet from me.
Scared me so badly for no ridiculous reason.
Then I cried about it because since I was already aboard the irrational train, I thought I’d finish the ride.
The awkward strikes again!
What did you do on Friday night?
Oh, you know, I hysterically cried because a pool sucker scared me. The usual. You?
After a particularly delicious dinner, The Prince announced that he would love to have leftovers for lunch the next day. I packed them up.
He gleefully left the next day looking forward to his meal.
“I lost my lunch,” He says in a phone call.
He literally lost his lunch. It disappeared.
He left the house with it and then it went to parts unknown.
If you see a mystery Tupperware in your travels, I apologize.
Even the best of lunches go rogue on occasion and start the twice baked potato version of the old camp song “On Top of Spaghetti”… all covered in cheese.
Buzz on over to the fabulous writers participating in Fly On The Wall before you get all covered in cheese too!
Click on these links for a peek into some other fantastic homes:
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
http://www.thelazymomcooks.com/ The Lazy Mom’s Cooking Blog
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://www.pinkheartstring.com Pink Heart String
http://www.spinstersnacks.com/ Spinster Snacks