The opossum is a very sophisticated animal. It doesn’t even get up until 5 or 6 PM.
In every relationship all tasks get divided. Here, we sometimes have a rousing game of rock paper scissors lizard Spock over who does the dishes tonight or yes, even a Boggle tournament to see who will be bringing in firewood. We are competitive by nature and it adds a bit of flair to the most mundane task. In the end there are chores to be done and certain things fall to certain people. My Handsome Prince gets anything involving tools and plumbing. I somehow got taking out the trash cans amongst other things. Not too bad, especially if I remember to delegate it to one of the kids.
A while ago, everyone was in bed before I remembered trash night so it was to be a solo mission. I had been stacking up recycling to take out in the hopes that another motivated member of the family would take it upon themselves and do a good deed. My social science project was only growing larger as was my distain for the overall lazy members of the clan. Don’t worry folks… I got it! After all it is one of my chores, even if I don’t like it much. Armed with my box of packing peanuts to recycle I headed out the side door to the cans.
Paying zero attention to the world around me, I kicked something furry just outside the door. Punted would better describe it as it ricocheted off the can. I couldn’t see around the big box. The offended furry started growling at which time it was accosted by a shower of packing peanuts from the box that I launched in the air while running away. Fight or flight! Growling inspires my feet to take on a mind of their own. Like a B grade actress in a bad horror flick, I didn’t run back to the open kitchen door. Oh no! Not me! I launched myself straight towards the side gate and trapped myself. There, 2 feet from the open kitchen door was a rather large, creepy looking, extremely offended, growling, beady eyed, teeth bared opossum.
This was not the way I believed possums to act but then I’ve never tried to use one as a soccer ball. Where was the fearless Labrador while I’m screaming and doing the eeew I touched it dance? Sleeping!?
More important, the possum was closer to getting into the house than I was! If the possum goes in there, I may have to move!
I thought about going around to the front and closing the kitchen door from the inside but I knew the front door was locked. If my screams of peril didn’t rouse any one of my caring family members, perhaps the doorbell wouldn’t either. Not about to wake the whole neighborhood, take my eyes off this furry or get another family razzing. That afternoon I had enthusiastically tried to kill a black plastic Halloween spider ring minding it’s own business under the coffee table. Much to my whole family’s sheer delight! In my defense, it looked like a HUGE spider and Halloween’s over why would I be thinking about novelty rings?!
Excuse Me… I seem to have left my just-in-case-you-punted-a-wild-animal-ACME-survival-kit in my other flannel pajama bottoms!
I spied my lightly poo coated savior! Desperately grabbing the backyard pooper scooper, I was now armed and ready to keep the crazy looking mammal out of my house! After a bit, some bargaining on my end and some gentle poking from a pooper scooper to encourage it to move on and NOT into the house, it slowly retreated into the backyard. Clearly it had claimed our side yard as it’s own and made sure to hiss and growl until it disappeared into the night. Trash went out and my foot was thoroughly scrubbed of all possum cooties. I learned a few things with my possum encounter…
1. kicking a wild animal is never a good idea
2. possums have a lot of teeth
3. a pooper scooper is a multi use tool that may save you from moving one day
4. Molly is just the mascot of our security department… I guess even Scooby Doo required a Scooby snack before doing anything important.
5. I think I’d like to offer my whole family the opportunity to connect with nature and take the trash out instead.
Should you have a problem possum, do not call me! Arm your self with a popper scooper, some packing peanuts, a large dose of run-the- wrong- way- itis and catch it on film.
Hope you have a Wild weekend!
Keeping a look out,
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