«

»

Print this Post

About To Get Goosed

“If you feel the urge, don’t be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?”

– Will Rogers

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

When my people were small, I spent a lot of time at parks so they could run and play.

The older versions of my little people prefer to head to the hills with me now for a good hike than hit the slides anymore.

We had some time to spend on that side of town so it was decided we’d spend that time enjoying “The Duck Park”.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A nifty place that hosts a man made lake stocked with fish, the public swimming pool, neat recreation area, picnic place and two fun sets of equipment for the kiddos to enjoy.

We set out to walk along the lake and enjoy all the birds.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

If you have not heard tales of satanic bird that tried to KILL me or the fact that ALL feathered friends HATE me with the fury of 10,000 suns… you may read about it HERE.

I’m crouched down messing with the settings on my camera and I hear Min giggling.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Mom, You’re about to get goosed.”

Stalker Goose was sneaking up behind me.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

He seemed to know that the camera meant that it was time to be handsome and proceeded to strut around.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Aww, look who’s popular amongst the avian community.” quips Min when it was clear that I had a new pal.

Around the lake we went.

Stalker goose in tow.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Every time I took my eyes off my stalker goose to look at something else one of the kids would inevitably say, “About to get goosed!” and I’d catch Mr. Stalker Goose so close I could have made roasted stalker for dinner.

Goose Love or Plotting My Demise?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I figured given my experience with friends of the feathered variety, it was safe to assume the latter and hatch my escape plan before my liver was served with some fava beans.

HONK! (insert scary goose squawk here please)

I lost him in the trees.

However this was not the best plan.

Three of my four kiddos were still hanging out by the lake while I’m being held hostage in the trees by a goose.

Fine Family Fun, eh?

A hoard of birthday party attendees started storming past the patch of trees in droves, armed with sacks of bread to feed the spoiled fat fowl.

With ninja quick moves I darted out of the trees with the intention of throwing off the scary bird by joining the crowd and thus making it back to my family.

What I really did was careen more like Scooby-Doo into some tree roots and send myself sprawling in a half sitting, half grass surfing position with a totally undignified expression upon my horrified face as I screamed S#*T in the longest loudest most drawn out speed of light moment ever flying down the grassy hill.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Not a soul at the park missed my epic slide… including stalker goose. Although I think he was a little embarrassed of me, as he seems to hang a little further back.

“Way to educate the future of tomorrow,” said Min with a high five because it was just pretty darn funny.

I saved the camera!

“And corrupted small minds!” she says trying really hard not to laugh hysterically.

I went for blending in and I was doing rather well.

“Don’t look now but we’ve picked up a creeper,” Min whispers at me.

Naturally I look.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It doesn’t blink.

“It’s eating my soul!” Min giggles.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Uh Oh! Goose-zilla has locked on and is coming for you!” She teases.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Mom, About To Get Goosed!” she adds with a little more urgency now.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“For the record, if it comes this way kid. Good Luck, Zebra!” I say to her referring to the fact that a zebra will sacrifice it’s child to a predator to save the rest of the heard.

“Nice ma!”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We lived. The goose was just after the bread a little girl close to use was throwing.

Good thing we didn’t freak out. ;)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Since he was occupied, super close and happy, I got some pictures of him.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

His feet just didn’t look real!?

***SWISH- something flew inches overhead***

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Creeper Bird Attack!!!

He swooped right in and stole Goose-zilla’s bread.

ANGRY BIRDS!!

Goose-zilla was clearly miffed and pouting.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Seems my stalker goose couldn’t help himself and had to check in on what the commotion was all about.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Why did the pigeon cross the road?” I ask.

“I have no clue.” Min replies.

“wait a second… you were asking the bird weren’t you!”

Busted!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Stalker goose retreated to his waters and we took it as a cue to FLEE!

“I think he’s coming for my liver!”

“Nothing is coming for your liver… run faster!”

We ran all the way back to the truck.

Trying to get my keys out I hear ” About To Get Goosed!!!” as Luc points to the sky where several ducks were coming in for a landing right behind the truck.

Scream for your life Party of 4… you may now scream as if someone is trying to chop you into pieces until safely piling back into the truck with doors locked.

You never know about those ducks.

“Mom you need to accept that birds don’t like you and move on.” Kenzie chimes in. “Why mess with the bull?”

I have given birth to Dear Abby.

Maybe I looked up a few times on the way home to be sure there was no goose or creeper birds following along.

I was sort of afraid he’d be on the doorstep when we got home.

Hello! I’ll be your goose!

Maybe that’s what I get for not bringing offerings of bread and stale cereal!

Looking out for the goose mafia,

Meg xoxo

Please take a second to tap the banner below so that it registers a vote for this blog!

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Thank you so much for all the support! I can’t do it without you!


Share

Permanent link to this article: http://justalittlenutty.com/about-to-get-goosed/

5 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. Kelly DeBie

    I know exactly where you are, and the geese have ALWAYS been aggressive there. It’s one of the places we must visit every time. Quack.

  2. Karen @BakingInATornado

    There’s a place near us where we went to do tashlich one year and as soon as my little kids headed towards the water with bread those beautiful geese turned into attack geese. We had to throw and run. Way to traumatize little kids, geese!

  3. Six Sisters

    Found your cute blog and would love to have you link up to our Strut Your Stuff Saturday link party with some of your great recipes! We also have our new sister site where you can share recipes and make money. Check it out at myrecipemagic.com. We hope to hear from you soon! -The Six Sisters

  4. Queen Mommy

    I share you love/hate relationship with the birds. When I was little I ran out of bread and was attacked. I tried again as a teen and watched as another little girl ran out of bread and was bitten as well. I think her dad almost went to jail for killing the park bird, but since the little girl has to be taken to the hospital, get shots, and stitches, he was let go. They would have had to put the bird down anyway… It was the same bird btw… the ugly huge gray goose with the nots on his nose… good riddance! oh by the way! I found you on the Don’t Be a Bloghole Blog Hop! ;)

    -Queen Mommy
    http://www.mt2sm.blogspot.com

  5. KC @ genxfinance

    This made me remember my childhood. In our backyard, we have this pond and these are ducks and geese. There’s this one goose who would chase me all the time. Scared the hell out of little ol’ me..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge